'08 Kobe Bryant pinkdiamond card
99 95 91 87 81

'08 Kobe Bryant

Rewards / Game Rewards 2


General information

Theme
Rewards
Position
SG / SF
Height
6'6" (198cm)
Weight
205lbs (92kg)
Age
30
Nickname
Kobe
Plays
P&R Wing Isolation Guard Post Up Mid Range

Hot Zones

Badges

1
1
12
2
'08 Kobe Bryant pinkdiamond card

99 Overall

97 Outside scoring

  • 98 Open shot mid
  • 98 Contested shot mid
  • 98 Off dribble shot mid
  • 97 Open shot 3pt
  • 97 Contested shot 3pt
  • 95 Off dribble shot 3pt
  • 98 Shot IQ
  • 95 Free throw
  • 98 Off. consistency

96 Athleticism

  • 97 Speed
  • 96 Acceleration
  • 98 Vertical
  • 70 Strength
  • 98 Stamina
  • 97 Hustle
  • 83 Overall durability

96 Inside scoring

  • 98 Shot close
  • 98 Standing layup
  • 98 Driving layup
  • 70 Standing dunk
  • 98 Driving dunk
  • 95 Contact dunk
  • 98 Draw foul
  • 90 Post control
  • 74 Post hook
  • 98 Post fadeaway
  • 98 Hands

90 Playmaking

  • 94 Ball control
  • 90 Passing accuracy
  • 85 Passing vision
  • 93 Passing IQ
  • 92 Speed with ball

97 Defending

  • 97 On-ball def. IQ
  • 62 Low post def. IQ
  • 98 Pick & roll def. IQ
  • 97 Help def. IQ
  • 97 Lateral quickness
  • 98 Pass perception
  • 97 Reaction time
  • 89 Steal
  • 70 Block
  • 96 Shot contest
  • 98 Def. consistency

75 Rebounding

  • 69 Offensive rebound
  • 78 Defensive rebound
  • 75 Boxout
  • 99 Potential
  • 97 Intangibles
  • 4203 Total attr.

Updates OVR POS INS OUT PLY ATH DEF REB
02/14/17 99 SG SF 96 97 90 96 97 75
09/18/16 99 SG SF 92 97 82 92 91 60

Comments Sort by

  • 309

    One of the GOATS. This man's work ethic inspires me to work harder in my studies to reach my goals. Kobe a top 5 player in my opinion

    265

    Lets be serious, half the players in the nba would've flopped on that play

    Show 22 replies...
    59

    I got a lot of love for LeBron, one of my fav players but everybody knows if that happened to him, he'd have flopped 20 yards backwards holding his face lying on the floor lol

    43

    his hairline would of retreated to

    0

    No more

    All the way back to Miami

    -9

    Just like when he held his wrist in the finals, RIP Lebrons wrist for 12 weeks but he still is one of my favs

    5

    if you are you never dunked before whenever you dunk with power you hit a bone so he hit his bone on the rim hard then landed on his wrist that extremly painful

    3

    are you talking about when he was trying to dunk on draymond

    18

    Marcus Smart would have died

    10

    I'd hate to see what would happen to Matt Barnes if he did this to Draymond Green. I think Steven Adams can take a wild guess if what would happen

    5

    Imagine he did it to Ron Artest.

    2

    RIP. Nah, I have faith that Matt Barnes is smart enough to not do that

    7

    Anderson Verajo wouldn't have

    3

    Woah! 6 downvotes for this? Do people not get sarcasm?

    6

    More than half, way more...

    1

    He'd end up back in Miami

    0

    not really

    -11

    lebron wouldn't flop on that one

    145

    that would have killed lebron
    just sayin

    Show 14 replies...
    5
    4

    i had 36 some bron fan downvoted me with his alts

    2
    0

    Laughing so hard right now

    0

    dude you got me crying lmaooooooooooo

    0

    never laughed that hard :)

    0

    Haha that's awesome

    -1

    Of course... he is the number1 GOAT
    Look at his speed tbh

    Show 23 more replies...
    16

    Will forever be a Legend

    8

    Lakers fans be like:

    Top 5 players:

    5. Kobe
    4. Kobe Bean Bryant
    3. Kobe with the afro
    2. Black Mamba
    1. Kobe Bryant

    Show 3 replies...
    2

    i know right

    1

    No top 5 is

    Jerry West
    Magic Johnson
    Elgin Baylor
    Shaquille O'Neal
    Kobe Bryant


    Also any Celtics player is tied worst all time, alongside Dwight Howard.

    7

    Thanks Yeez! I think he's top 5 too

    5

    That 97 contested 3 point shot HOOOOO MAAAA GAWDDDD

    Show 1 reply...
    3

    That 81 steal HOOOOOOO MAAAAAAA GAWDDDDDD

    3

    My dad told me about this alot, and that's why he hates Matt Barnes.

    Show 1 reply...
    8

    everyone hates matt barnes anyways lmao

    2

    KOBE IS SUCH A BEAST. HE IS MY FAV HISTORIC PLAYER HE IS MY 2ND FAV PLAYER (1st is Russ Westbrook )

    1

    True that every time I play a MyTeam online match, I say,"This one for Kobe AKA The Last Samurai AKA The Black Mamba AKA The GOAT

    0

    noone cares faggot

    0

    Yes, the GOAT is still improving. But for rn he is #2

    0
    0

    Pass to Kobe

    0

    Kobe is huge if he worked on rebounding he'd be "THE GOAT"

    0

    That guy is savage, is over all is incredible
    Well. That guy made history
    Hip hip hooray
    KOBE!

    0

    if anything, matt barnes would've flopped

    0

    If I could be even half as good as this man, I would already be honored

    -6

    You're not a goat you're a douchebag fuck U Yeezy

    -9

    HIS 60 POINT FINAL GAME WAS RIGGED

    Show 1 reply...
    0

    lol no way. Rewatch the highlights that was amazing

    -14

    IDK about top 5 but he is top 10 for sure

    Show 10 replies...
    1

    This is actually true. Why the dislikes?

    1

    Even I as a Lakers fan must agree here.

    -2
    -6

    why 3 dislikes? its true... i have kobe at #7

    -3

    ikr. These guys just want to show another level of respect.

    -18

    orlando was winning lol kobe trash

    Show 1 reply...
  • 124

    Shot 3 = Pass to Kobe
    Fake the shot = Pass to Kobe
    I am on the bench = Pass to Kobe
    I am dreaming = Pass to Kobe
    :)

    45

    Paycheck = Pass to Kobe

    Show 1 reply...
    0

    I don't think Kobe would need another paycheck after what he earns/earned lol

    26

    Artest quote lmao

    Show 4 replies...
    -9

    u mean Metta World Peace?banter

    -2

    They're the same person. Ron Artest legally changed his name to Metta World Peace and i think he changed it in 2011

    Show 3 more replies...
  • 62

    Holy moly. 2 99s.

    3

    3..

    Show 5 replies...
    0

    3 where the third
    on then

    0

    No 2

    1

    Jordan?

    1

    No 2 99 kobes. And it would be 4 if we were going by total because of duncan

    1

    Yea I meant total and I din't check, there was 4. My bad.

    2

    I wish I had the money for this card, but 2500 cards collected is going to be impossible, especially with MT prices being £50+ for 100k....

    Show 4 replies...
    30

    Devote your entire life to 2k17 and this card awaits you.

    5

    thats why im robbing banks now to get some shitty bronze players to complete my collections

    3

    Lol same here they cost more than the friggin Emeralds. To get the Magic bronzes atm you're looking at about 25-30k

    Show 4 more replies...
    0

    "cars2016champs"

    Show 1 reply...
    3

    I didn't have a v key when I made my account because I did it on my computer so I put cars as a joke.


    BTW that's an intense nickname you got there.

    0

    how do u unlock this card? is this the 2500 collector reward? or a diff reward?

    Show 4 replies...
    2

    2500 collector reward....

    5

    I wasn't real sure on Sunday and my friend told me he pulled it lol

    1

    liar. I got it on the spin on myteam blacktop though

    2

    Ikr. Then I got on and realized you could only pull current players and exposed his little bitchass

    -47

    KOBE IS TRASH THO.

    Show 8 replies...
    6

    @zemGOAT .. he is trying to be like you now.

    -2

    Honestly look at his Stats when Pau was there and then compare it to when HE WASN'T Kobe just stat padded a bad Team through his Prime.

    3

    Troydan never says that you know

    2

    yo fake troydan shutup

    1

    go troydan!!!!!!!!

  • 42

    [Deleted]

    0

    Hashtags are gay

    0

    Kobe is a beast WOO #Mamba Out

    Show 4 more replies...
    -10

    I agree, but I have high hopes for LeBron taking over.

    Show 4 replies...
    0

    lebrons a pussy hes 3-4 hes never going to be as good as kobe.

    -1

    So what? You're using a finals record as a reason why Kobe is better? Well, I'm telling you right now that to be able to carry a shitty team at the age of 21 to the finals is greatness right there. The Spurs had the big 3 of Tony Parker, Manu Ginobli, and Tim Duncan. Tim averaged 11.5 RPG and 2 BPG. Manu averaged 6 RPG and 1 SPG. Tony averaged 24.5 PPG and 5 RPG. All Cavs had was LeBron. He averaged 22 PPG, 7 RPG, 7 APG, 1 SPG, and 0.5 BPG. Beides LeBron, the Cavs were a shitty team, so they got swept.

    -1

    LMFAO You're trash dude He had d wade bosh and ray Allen to save is pussy ass. You're a pussy ass bandwagon cavs fan stfu you know nothing, Dude Lebron gets carried hes not clutch at all everybody meat rides I beg you kys you have no knowledge of basketball look at your username...pussy. 3-4 No great player is 3-4 you meatride.

    0

    Kobe had Dwight Howard, Steve Nash, and Pau Gasol all at the same time and couldn't even make it into the Finals. Remember when Robert Horry saved Kobe's ass against the Kings in the Western Conference Finals? If he didn't make that clutch shot, Kobe would have 4 rings instead of 5. Also, Allen Iverson is 0-1 and he's in the HOF right now, can you explain how that happened? Charles Barkley is also 0-1 and he is still considered an all-time great. I can go on and on about people who had finals records worse than LeBron's but are still considered all-time greats.

    -12

    Well At the Moment yes but LBJ will soon take the crown IMO.

    Show 2 replies...
    1

    i dont think he can be that he would need 2 superstars to achieve something

    1

    He's got kyrie and love

    -13
    -13

    OLE GOOFY ASS

    Show 6 replies...
    8

    Ole shut the fuck up

    -1

    [Deleted]

    2

    did i delete this comment? if not un fucking delete it mods

    0

    You can undelete it now

  • 31

    THE Black Mamba

    -5

    bro he hot everywhere better Lonzo Ball

    Show 1 reply...
    0

    Lonzo ball bandwagon

  • 24

    Things I notice on this card

    1. NO 99 Fade away
    2. Best card in the game
    3. Top 5 or top 3 player of all time
    4. The goat of 2k17

    7

    Top 3 players
    1.Brian Scalabrine
    2. Kwame Brown
    3.Ricky Ledo

    Show 8 replies...
    3

    Yeah but u forgetting Michael Davis and John Brown

    2

    bro, you forgot Javale McGee

    0

    He's in the top 5

    2

    no way lavar is the best

    1

    heck no

    SIM BHULLAR!!!!!!!!!!!

    0

    Last year he would have made it

    5

    If anyone should get 99 fade, it is Dirk, not Kobe.

    Show 2 replies...
    4

    I think kobe, Jordan and Dirk

    3

    Probably goes like this:
    Dirk Moments or Diamond card, 99 Fade
    Best MJ 97-98 Fade
    Best Kobe 98 Fade

    Show 3 more replies...
    -2

    nah chuck is the best card in the game

    Show 1 reply...
    1

    nope, not anymore

    -2

    no Michael Jordan is the best card in the game

    -5

    L

    Show 4 replies...
    2

    Man you your a warriors fan and in 2015 all you were shouting was "we" won the championship when all you did was eat chips from the trash can.

    0

    lmfao i dont know what made you think im a warriors fan but keep on keeping on

    0

    LOL he is kind of right but not that much and I was just messing with you

  • 23

    Lakers fans be like:
    Top 5 players:

    5. Kobe Bryant
    4. Kobe Bean Bryant
    3. Kobe
    2. Kobe with the Afro
    1. Black Mamba

    8

    that sounds more like cavs fans just change kobe to lebron

    Show 9 replies...
    0

    the one you hate so much for no fuckin reason

    0

    he used to flop

    0

    that's literally the only reason to hate on lebron's legacy

    0

    he used to choke a lot and the decision

    0

    how tf did i forget about that

    0

    for no reason lol

  • 21

    Truly one of the greats of the game. Without a doubt top 5 player of all time.
    Heroes comes and go, but legends are forever.

    0

    to espn Kobe is 11-15 of all time

    0

    no but close

    Show 1 more reply...
  • 19

    *cliche comment about how kobe changed my life*

    0

    W lmao this is a hella underrated comment

  • 16

    Zem Goat stfu Kobe Bryant did a lot for this league you bastard 5 rings and about 18 time all-star hes an idol to follow he

  • 12

    Thank You Kobe for everyone that hates Kobe fuck you, go to the NBA and do what he did

    4

    Just because Kobe is tremendously more skilled as an athlete than the vast majority of the human race does not mean that the rest of the human race has to like him. We can choose to dislike anybody we feel like for what ever reason we deem appropriate, regardless of that person's accomplishments.

    2

    You need punctuation

    Show 1 reply...
    3

    You need Jesus

    Show 2 more replies...
    0

    You could say the same thing for literally ANY NBA player EVER.

    -5

    he wouldn't have done anything if jordan didn't play you dumbass.

  • 12

    He is one of the greatest players of all time 2K gave him 2 99 cards that's amazing #WeMIssYouMamba

    0

    LOVED YOU MAMBA

  • 9

    He is officially the best card in the game

  • 9

    THEY MADE KOBE BETTER THAN BARKLEY

    0

    No way, it's like he really is

  • 8

    Better have hall of fame deadeye badge. Hall of fame posterizer badge. And hall of fame PLD

  • 6

    Best outside scoring in the game

    -26

    Which is ridiculous. He was always a below average shooter.

    Show 20 replies...
    1

    Pff haha. Below average. Unbelievable disrespect.

    -11

    We're just gonna ignore his three point percentage because he's Kobe. Figures.

    -4

    Yeah, because he got doubled and had to take last second shots when the shot clock was almost done. Some of us actually watch games instead of just jerking off to stats and PER

    -8

    Maybe because he hogged the ball for 24 seconds per possession. Passing is always an option especially if you're doubled because somebody has to be open.

    -1

    You don't really understand basketball do you ?

    -6

    Bring up some facts or at least a legit opinion because these are just empty words.

    2

    Kobe was not a ballhog.

    And keep calling the all-time record holder for threes in a game an "overrated shooter". It took Curry OT just to tie it

    -4

    Is he a great shooter because of one game? Was Donyell Marshall the best shooter because he nailed 12 threes in one game?

    -2

    Never said Kobe was the best shooter moron

    -8

    Of course you didn't because he was a below average shooter.

    -2

    Yeah yeah yeah. Kobe was a below average shooter. That's why he scored 35.4 ppg with less than 20% of his shots coming from inside the paint. The rest were just lucky I suppose

    -4

    No it was because he chucked up 27 shots per game.

    2

    you are both chimps kobe is an amazing shooter in pretty much all ways you cant say MJ didnt have a 3 ball just because when he started he didnt it took him just one game to learn to 3 ball because he needed to kobe has such high stats because he hit the shots he needed to because he took the shoots that was stupid;y contested but got them in stats dont mean too much if you took stats into consideration steph curry would be on a similar par to alot of jump shooters but when you look at the distance and consistancy of shots hit from deep and how deep and how contested makes up his stat (although please dont try to take open on the line 3s with curry in game they will miss xD) bottom line the stats for this card arent based off of a careers stats they are based off of how the player played

    2

    stop calling everyone chimps

    2

    leave me alone

    0

    For Kobe's career,he shot 44.7% from the field. That's slightly below average.

    -1

    With one of the highest volume of all time, that's awful

    -9

    Oh, and not the "81 rings, 5 points" cliché.

    0

    name someone to drop more than 83 in a game besides wilt

    -3

    Exactly, unless this card is for the 81 point game

  • 6

    Once upon a time there was a lovely
    princess. But she had an enchantment
    upon her of a fearful sort which could
    only be broken by love's first kiss.
    She was locked away in a castle guarded
    by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.
    Many brave knights had attempted to
    free her from this dreadful prison,
    but non prevailed. She waited in the
    dragon's keep in the highest room of
    the tallest tower for her true love
    and true love's first kiss. (laughs)
    Like that's ever gonna happen. What
    a load of - (toilet flush)

    Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his
    day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go
    after the ogre.

    NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME

    MAN1
    Think it's in there?

    MAN2
    All right. Let's get it!

    MAN1
    Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that
    thing can do to you?

    MAN3
    Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's
    bread.

    Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.

    SHREK
    Yes, well, actually, that would be a
    giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse.
    They'll make a suit from your freshly
    peeled skin.

    MEN
    No!

    SHREK
    They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the
    jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's
    quite good on toast.

    MAN1
    Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
    (waves the torch at Shrek.)

    Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The
    men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long
    and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the
    men are in the dark.

    SHREK
    This is the part where you run away.
    (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.)
    And stay out! (looks down and picks
    up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted.
    Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and
    throws the paper over his shoulder.)


    THE NEXT DAY

    There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard
    sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures
    to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line
    are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto
    who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three
    little pigs.

    GUARD
    All right. This one's full. Take it
    away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!


    HEAD GUARD
    Next!

    GUARD
    (taking the witch's broom) Give me that!
    Your flying days are over. (breaks the
    broom in half)

    HEAD GUARD
    That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch.
    Next!

    GUARD
    Get up! Come on!

    HEAD GUARD
    Twenty pieces.

    LITTLE BEAR
    (crying) This cage is too small.

    DONKEY
    Please, don't turn me in. I'll never
    be stubborn again. I can change. Please!
    Give me another chance!

    OLD WOMAN
    Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)

    DONKEY
    Oh!

    HEAD GUARD
    Next! What have you got?

    GIPETTO
    This little wooden puppet.

    PINOCCHIO
    I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his
    nose grows)

    HEAD GUARD
    Five shillings for the possessed toy.
    Take it away.

    PINOCCHIO
    Father, please! Don't let them do this!
    Help me!

    Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up
    to the table.

    HEAD GUARD
    Next! What have you got?

    OLD WOMAN
    Well, I've got a talking donkey.

    HEAD GUARD
    Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings,
    if you can prove it.

    OLD WOMAN
    Oh, go ahead, little fella.

    Donkey just looks up at her.

    HEAD GUARD
    Well?

    OLD WOMAN
    Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little
    nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox.
    Talk, you boneheaded dolt...

    HEAD GUARD
    That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!


    OLD WOMAN
    No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends
    to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to
    talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing
    you ever saw.

    HEAD GUARD
    Get her out of my sight.

    OLD WOMAN
    No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

    The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One
    of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's
    hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled
    with fairy dust and he's able to fly.

    DONKEY
    Hey! I can fly!

    PETER PAN
    He can fly!

    3 LITTLE PIGS
    He can fly!

    HEAD GUARD
    He can talk!

    DONKEY
    Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm
    a flying, talking donkey. You might
    have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly
    but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey
    fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins
    to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink
    to the ground.)

    He hits the ground with a thud.

    HEAD GUARD
    Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.)
    After him!

    GUARDS
    He's getting away! Get him! This way!
    Turn!

    Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally.
    Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared
    for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He
    quickly hides behind Shrek.

    HEAD GUARD
    You there. Ogre!

    SHREK
    Aye?

    HEAD GUARD
    By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized
    to place you both under arrest and transport
    you to a designated resettlement facility.


    SHREK
    Oh, really? You and what army?

    He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well
    and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail
    and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and
    begins walking back to his cottage.

    DONKEY
    Can I say something to you? Listen,
    you was really, really, really somethin'
    back here. Incredible!

    SHREK
    Are you talkin' to...(he turns around
    and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back
    around and Donkey is right in front
    of him.) Whoa!

    DONKEY
    Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell
    you that you that you was great back
    here? Those guards! They thought they
    was all of that. Then you showed up,
    and bam! They was trippin' over themselves
    like babes in the woods. That really
    made me feel good to see that.

    SHREK
    Oh, that's great. Really.

    DONKEY
    Man, it's good to be free.

    SHREK
    Now, why don't you go celebrate your
    freedom with your own friends? Hmm?


    DONKEY
    But, uh, I don't have any friends. And
    I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey,
    wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll
    stick with you. You're mean, green,
    fightin' machine. Together we'll scare
    the spit out of anybody that crosses
    us.

    Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very
    loudly.

    DONKEY
    Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you
    don't mind me sayin', if that don't
    work, your breath certainly will get
    the job done, 'cause you definitely
    need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause
    you breath stinks! You almost burned
    the hair outta my nose, just like the
    time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey
    continues to talk, so Shrek removes
    his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten
    berries. I had strong gases leaking
    out of my butt that day.

    SHREK
    Why are you following me?

    DONKEY
    I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause
    I'm all alone, There's no one here beside
    me, My problems have all gone, There's
    no one to deride me, But you gotta have
    faith...

    SHREK
    Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't
    have any friends.

    DONKEY
    Wow. Only a true friend would be that
    cruelly honest.

    SHREK
    Listen, little donkey. Take a look at
    me. What am I?

    DONKEY
    (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really
    tall?

    SHREK
    No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your
    torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that
    bother you?

    DONKEY
    Nope.

    SHREK
    Really?

    DONKEY
    Really, really.

    SHREK
    Oh.

    DONKEY
    Man, I like you. What's you name?

    SHREK
    Uh, Shrek.

    DONKEY
    Shrek? Well, you know what I like about
    you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me
    thing. I like that. I respect that,
    Shrek. You all right. (They come over
    a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.)
    Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live
    in place like that?

    SHREK
    That would be my home.

    DONKEY
    Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful.
    You know you are quite a decorator.
    It's amazing what you've done with such
    a modest budget. I like that boulder.
    That is a nice boulder. I guess you
    don't entertain much, do you?

    SHREK
    I like my privacy.

    DONKEY
    You know, I do too. That's another thing
    we have in common. Like I hate it when
    you got somebody in your face. You've
    trying to give them a hint, and they
    won't leave. There's that awkward silence.
    (awkward silence) Can I stay with you?


    SHREK
    Uh, what?

    DONKEY
    Can I stay with you, please?

    SHREK
    (sarcastically) Of course!

    DONKEY
    Really?

    SHREK
    No.

    DONKEY
    Please! I don't wanna go back there!
    You don't know what it's like to be
    considered a freak. (pause while he
    looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do.
    But that's why we gotta stick together.
    You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!


    SHREK
    Okay! Okay! But one night only.

    DONKEY
    Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage)


    SHREK
    What are you...? (Donkey hops up onto
    a chair.) No! No!

    DONKEY
    This is gonna be fun! We can stay up
    late, swappin' manly stories, and in
    the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.

    SHREK
    Oh!

    DONKEY
    Where do, uh, I sleep?

    SHREK
    (irritated) Outside!

    DONKEY
    Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean,
    I don't know you, and you don't know
    me, so I guess outside is best, you
    know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek
    slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do
    like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was
    born outside. I'll just be sitting by
    myself outside, I guess, you know. By
    myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's
    no one here beside me...

    SHREK'S COTTAGE - NIGHT

    Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits himself down and lights
    a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a
    noise. He stands up with a huff.

    SHREK
    (to Donkey) I thought I told you to
    stay outside.

    DONKEY
    (from the window) I am outside.

    There is another noise and Shrek turns to find the person that
    made the noise. He sees several shadows moving. He finally turns
    and spots 3 blind mice on his table.

    BLIND MOUSE1
    Well, gents, it's a far cry from the
    farm, but what choice do we have?


    BLIND MOUSE2
    It's not home, but it'll do just fine.


    GORDO
    (bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed.


    SHREK
    Got ya. (Grabs a mouse, but it escapes
    and lands on his shoulder.)

    GORDO
    I found some cheese. (bites Shrek's
    ear)

    SHREK
    Ow!

    GORDO
    Blah! Awful stuff.

    BLIND MOUSE1
    Is that you, Gordo?

    GORDO
    How did you know?

    SHREK
    Enough! (he grabs the 3 mice) What are
    you doing in my house? (He gets bumped
    from behind and he drops the mice.)
    Hey! (he turns and sees the Seven Dwarves
    with Snow White on the table.) Oh, no,
    no, no. Dead broad off the table.


    DWARF
    Where are we supposed to put her? The
    bed's taken.

    SHREK
    Huh?

    Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain.
    The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at
    him.

    BIG BAD WOLF
    What?

    TIME LAPSE

    Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging
    him to the front door.

    SHREK
    I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm
    a terrifying ogre! What do I have to
    do get a little privacy? (He opens the
    front door to throw the Wolf out and
    he sees that all the collected Fairy
    Tale Creatures are on his land.) Oh,
    no. No! No!

    The 3 bears sit around the fire, the pied piper is playing his
    pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing
    flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land...etc.


    SHREK
    What are you doing in my swamp? (this
    echoes and everyone falls silent.)


    Gasps are heard all around. The 3 good fairies hide inside a
    tent.

    SHREK
    All right, get out of here. All of you,
    move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya!
    Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more
    dwarves run inside the house) No, no!
    No, no. Not there. Not there. (they
    shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to
    look at Donkey)

    DONKEY
    Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite
    them.

    PINOCCHIO
    Oh, gosh, no one invited us.

    SHREK
    What?

    PINOCCHIO
    We were forced to come here.

    SHREK
    (flabbergasted) By who?

    LITTLE PIG
    Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed
    and he...signed an eviction notice.


    SHREK
    (heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where
    this Farquaad guy is?

    Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers.

    DONKEY
    Oh, I do. I know where he is.

    SHREK
    Does anyone else know where to find
    him? Anyone at all?

    DONKEY
    Me! Me!

    SHREK
    Anyone?

    DONKEY
    Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know!
    Me, me!

    SHREK
    (sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy
    tale things. Do not get comfortable.
    Your welcome is officially worn out.
    In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad
    right now and get you all off my land
    and back where you came from! (Pause.
    Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey)
    You! You're comin' with me.

    DONKEY
    All right, that's what I like to hear,
    man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart
    friends, off on a whirlwind big-city
    adventure. I love it!

    DONKEY
    (singing) On the road again. Sing it
    with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get
    on the road again.

    SHREK
    What did I say about singing?

    DONKEY
    Can I whistle?

    SHREK
    No.

    DONKEY
    Can I hum it?

    SHREK
    All right, hum it.

    Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'.

    DULOC - KITCHEN

    A masked man is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually
    dunking him in a glass of milk. Lord Farquaad walks in.

    FARQUAAD
    That's enough. He's ready to talk.


    The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk and slammed down
    onto a cookie sheet. Farquaad laughs as he walks over to the
    table. However when he reaches the table we see that it goes
    up to his eyes. He clears his throat and the table is lowered.


    FARQUAAD
    (he picks up the Gingerbread Man's legs
    and plays with them) Run, run, run,
    as fast as you can. You can't catch
    me. I'm the gingerbread man.

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    You are a monster.

    FARQUAAD
    I'm not the monster here. You are. You
    and the rest of that fairy tale trash,
    poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell
    me! Where are the others?

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    Eat me! (He spits milk into Farquaad's
    eye.)

    FARQUAAD
    I've tried to be fair to you creatures.
    Now my patience has reached its end!
    Tell me or I'll...(he makes as if to
    pull off the Gingerbread Man's buttons)


    GINGERBREAD MAN
    No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop
    buttons.

    FARQUAAD
    All right then. Who's hiding them?


    GINGERBREAD MAN
    Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the
    muffin man?

    FARQUAAD
    The muffin man?

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    The muffin man.

    FARQUAAD
    Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives
    on Drury Lane?

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    Well, she's married to the muffin man.


    FARQUAAD
    The muffin man?

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    The muffin man!

    FARQUAAD
    She's married to the muffin man.

    The door opens and the Head Guard walks in.

    HEAD GUARD
    My lord! We found it.

    FARQUAAD
    Then what are you waiting for? Bring
    it in.

    More guards enter carrying something that is covered by a sheet.
    They hang up whatever it is and remove the sheet. It is the Magic
    Mirror.

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    (in awe) Ohhhh...

    FARQUAAD
    Magic mirror...

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    Don't tell him anything! (Farquaad picks
    him up and dumps him into a trash can
    with a lid.) No!

    FARQUAAD
    Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall.
    Is this not the most perfect kingdom
    of them all?

    MIRROR
    Well, technically you're not a king.


    FARQUAAD
    Uh, Thelonius. (Thelonius holds up a
    hand mirror and smashes it with his
    fist.) You were saying?

    MIRROR
    What I mean is you're not a king yet.
    But you can become one. All you have
    to do is marry a princess.

    FARQUAAD
    Go on.

    MIRROR
    (chuckles nervously) So, just sit back
    and relax, my lord, because it's time
    for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes.
    And here they are! Bachelorette number
    one is a mentally abused shut-in from
    a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi
    and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies
    include cooking and cleaning for her
    two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella.
    (shows picture of Cinderella) Bachelorette
    number two is a cape-wearing girl from
    the land of fancy. Although she lives
    with seven other men, she's not easy.
    Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and
    find out what a live wire she is. Come
    on. Give it up for Snow White! (shows
    picture of Snow White) And last, but
    certainly not last, bachelorette number
    three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded
    castle surrounded by hot boiling lava!
    But don't let that cool you off. She's
    a loaded pistol who likes pina colads
    and getting caught in the rain. Yours
    for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! (Shows
    picture of Princess Fiona) So will it
    be bachelorette number one, bachelorette
    number two or bachelorette number three?


    GUARDS
    Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three!


    FARQUAAD
    Three? One? Three?

    THELONIUS
    Three! (holds up 2 fingers) Pick number
    three, my lord!

    FARQUAAD
    Okay, okay, uh, number three!

    MIRROR
    Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess
    Fiona.

    FARQUAAD
    Princess Fiona. She's perfect. All I
    have to do is just find someone who
    can go...

    MIRROR
    But I probably should mention the little
    thing that happens at night.

    FARQUAAD
    I'll do it.

    MIRROR
    Yes, but after sunset...

    FARQUAAD
    Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona
    my queen, and DuLoc will finally have
    the perfect king! Captain, assemble
    your finest men. We're going to have
    a tournament. (smiles evilly)

    DuLoc Parking Lot - Lancelot Section

    Shrek and Donkey come out of the field that is right by the parking
    lot. The castle itself is about 40 stories high.

    DONKEY
    But that's it. That's it right there.
    That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it.


    SHREK
    So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.


    DONKEY
    Uh-huh. That's the place.

    SHREK
    Do you think maybe he's compensating
    for something? (He laughs, but then
    groans as Donkey doesn't get the joke.
    He continues walking through the parking
    lot.)

    DONKEY
    Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.

    MAN
    Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.


    SHREK
    Hey, you! (The attendant, who is wearing
    a giant head that looks like Lord Farquaad,
    screams and begins running through the
    rows of rope to get to the front gate
    to get away from Shrek.) Wait a second.
    Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just
    - - I just - - (He sighs and then begins
    walking straight through the rows. The
    attendant runs into a wall and falls
    down. Shrek and Donkey look at him then
    continue on into DuLoc.)

    DULOC

    They look around but all is quiet.

    SHREK
    It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody?


    DONKEY
    Hey, look at this!

    Donkey runs over and pulls a lever that is attached to a box
    marked 'Information'. The music winds up and then the box doors
    open up. There are little wooden people inside and they begin
    to sing.

    WOODEN PEOPLE
    Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town


    Here we have some rules

    Let us lay them down

    Don't make waves, stay in line

    And we'll get along fine

    DuLoc is perfect place

    Please keep off of the grass

    Shine your shoes, wipe your... face

    DuLoc is, DuLoc is

    DuLoc is perfect place.

    Suddenly a camera takes Donkey and Shrek's picture.

    DONKEY
    Wow! Let's do that again! (makes ready
    to run over and pull the lever again)


    SHREK
    (grabs Donkey's tail and holds him still)
    No. No. No, no, no! No.

    They hear a trumpet fanfare and head over to the arena.

    FARQUAAD
    Brave knights. You are the best and
    brightest in all the land. Today one
    of you shall prove himself...

    As Shrek and Donkey walk down the tunnel to get into the arena
    Donkey is humming the DuLoc theme song.

    SHREK
    All right. You're going the right way
    for a smacked bottom.

    DONKEY
    Sorry about that.

    FARQUAAD
    That champion shall have the honor -
    - no, no - - the privilege to go forth
    and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona
    from the fiery keep of the dragon. If
    for any reason the winner is unsuccessful,
    the first runner-up will take his place
    and so on and so forth. Some of you
    may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing
    to make. (cheers) Let the tournament
    begin! (He notices Shrek) Oh! What is
    that? It's hideous!

    SHREK
    (turns to look at Donkey and then back
    at Farquaad) Ah, that's not very nice.
    It's just a donkey.

    FARQUAAD
    Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who
    kills the ogre will be named champion!
    Have it him!

    MEN
    Get him!

    SHREK
    Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. (bumps
    into a table where there are mugs of
    beer)

    CROWD
    Go ahead! Get him!

    SHREK
    (holds up a mug of beer) Can't we just
    settle this over a pint?

    CROWD
    Kill the beast!

    SHREK
    No? All right then. (drinks the beer)
    Come on!

    He takes the mug and smashes the spigot off the large barrel
    of beer behind him. The beer comes rushing out drenching the
    other men and wetting the ground. It's like mud now. Shrek slides
    past the men and picks up a spear that one of the men dropped.
    As Shrek begins to fight Donkey hops up onto one of the larger
    beer barrels. It breaks free of it's ropes and begins to roll.
    Donkey manages to squish two men into the mud. There is so much
    fighting going on here I'm not going to go into detail. Suffice
    to say that Shrek kicks butt.

    DONKEY
    Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!

    Shrek comes over and bangs a man's head up against Donkeys. Shrek
    gets up on the ropes and interacts with the crowd.

    SHREK
    Yeah!

    A man tries to sneak up behind Shrek, but Shrek turns in time
    and sees him.

    WOMAN
    The chair! Give him the chair!

    Shrek smashes a chair over the guys back. Finally all the men
    are down. Donkey kicks one of them in the helmet, and the ding
    sounds the end of the match. The audience goes wild.

    SHREK
    Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you
    very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try
    the veal! Ha, ha! (laughs)

    The laughter stops as all of the guards turn their weapons on
    Shrek.

    HEAD GUARD
    Shall I give the order, sir?

    FARQUAAD
    No, I have a better idea. People of
    DuLoc, I give you our champion!

    SHREK
    What?

    FARQUAAD
    Congratulations, ogre. You're won the
    honor of embarking on a great and noble
    quest.

    SHREK
    Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest
    to get my swamp back.

    FARQUAAD
    Your swamp?

    SHREK
    Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those
    fairy tale creatures!

    FARQUAAD
    Indeed. All right, ogre. I'll make you
    a deal. Go on this quest for me, and
    I'll give you your swamp back.

    SHREK
    Exactly the way it was?

    FARQUAAD
    Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.


    SHREK
    And the squatters?

    FARQUAAD
    As good as gone.

    SHREK
    What kind of quest?

    Time Lapse - Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field
    heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion.

    DONKEY
    Let me get this straight. You're gonna
    go fight a dragon and rescue a princess
    just so Farquaad will give you back
    a swamp which you only don't have because
    he filled it full of freaks in the first
    place. Is that about right?

    SHREK
    You know, maybe there's a good reason
    donkeys shouldn't talk.

    DONKEY
    I don't get it. Why don't you just pull
    some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle
    him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds
    his bones to make your bread, the whole
    ogre trip.

    SHREK
    Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have
    decapitated an entire village and put
    their heads on a pike, gotten a knife,
    cut open their spleen and drink their
    fluids. Does that sound good to you?


    DONKEY
    Uh, no, not really, no.

    SHREK
    For your information, there's a lot
    more to ogres than people think.

    DONKEY
    Example?

    SHREK
    Example? Okay, um, ogres are like onions.
    (he holds out his onion)

    DONKEY
    (sniffs the onion) They stink?

    SHREK
    Yes - - No!

    DONKEY
    They make you cry?

    SHREK
    No!

    DONKEY
    You leave them in the sun, they get
    all brown, start sproutin' little white
    hairs.

    SHREK
    No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres
    have layers! Onions have layers. You
    get it? We both have layers. (he heaves
    a sigh and then walks off)

    DONKEY
    (trailing after Shrek) Oh, you both
    have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know,
    not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody
    loves cakes! Cakes have layers.

    SHREK
    I don't care... what everyone likes.
    Ogres are not like cakes.

    DONKEY
    You know what else everybody likes?
    Parfaits. Have you ever met a person,
    you say, "Let's get some parfait," they
    say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"?
    Parfaits are delicious.

    SHREK
    No! You dense, irritating, miniature
    beast of burden! Ogres are like onions!
    And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.


    DONKEY
    Parfaits may be the most delicious thing
    on the whole damn planet.

    SHREK
    You know, I think I preferred your humming.


    DONKEY
    Do you have a tissue or something? I'm
    making a mess. Just the word parfait
    make me start slobbering.

    They head off. There is a montage of their journey. Walking through
    a field at sunset. Sleeping beneath a bright moon. Shrek trying
    to put the campfire out the next day and having a bit of a problem,
    so Donkey pees on the fire to put it out.

    DRAGON'S KEEP

    Shrek and Donkey are walking up to the keep that's supposed to
    house Princess Fiona. It appears to look like a giant volcano.


    DONKEY
    (sniffs) Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?
    You gotta warn somebody before you just
    crack one off. My mouth was open and
    everything.

    SHREK
    Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd
    be dead. (sniffs) It's brimstone. We
    must be getting close.

    DONKEY
    Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking
    about it's the brimstone. I know what
    I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It
    didn't come off no stone neither.


    They climb up the side of the volcano/keep and look down. There
    is a small piece of rock right in the center and that is where
    the castle is. It is surrounded by boiling lava. It looks very
    foreboding.

    SHREK
    Sure, it's big enough, but look at the
    location. (laughs...then the laugh turns
    into a groan)

    DONKEY
    Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said
    ogres have layers?

    SHREK
    Oh, aye.

    DONKEY
    Well, I have a bit of a confession to
    make. Donkeys don't have layers. We
    wear our fear right out there on our
    sleeves.

    SHREK
    Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.


    DONKEY
    You know what I mean.

    SHREK
    You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.


    DONKEY
    No, I'm just a little uncomfortable
    about being on a rickety bridge over
    a boiling like of lava!

    SHREK
    Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside
    ya, okay? For emotional support., we'll
    just tackle this thing together one
    little baby step at a time.

    DONKEY
    Really?

    SHREK
    Really, really.

    DONKEY
    Okay, that makes me feel so much better.


    SHREK
    Just keep moving. And don't look down.


    DONKEY
    Okay, don't look down. Don't look down.
    Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't
    look down. (he steps through a rotting
    board and ends up looking straight down
    into the lava) Shrek! I'm lookin' down!
    Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me
    off, please!

    SHREK
    But you're already halfway.

    DONKEY
    But I know that half is safe!

    SHREK
    Okay, fine. I don't have time for this.
    You go back.

    DONKEY
    Shrek, no! Wait!

    SHREK
    Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance
    then, shall me? (bounces and sways the
    bridge)

    DONKEY
    Don't do that!

    SHREK
    Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? (bounces
    the bridge again)

    DONKEY
    Yes, that!

    SHREK
    Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. (continues to
    bounce and sway as he backs Donkey across
    the bridge)

    DONKEY
    No, Shrek! No! Stop it!

    SHREK
    You said do it! I'm doin' it.

    DONKEY
    I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek,
    I'm gonna die. (steps onto solid ground)
    Oh!

    SHREK
    That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. (walks
    towards the castle)

    DONKEY
    Cool. So where is this fire-breathing
    pain-in-the-neck anyway?

    SHREK
    Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
    (chuckles)

    DONKEY
    I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.


    INSIDE THE CASTLE

    DONKEY
    You afraid?

    SHREK
    No.

    DONKEY
    But...

    SHREK
    Shh.

    DONKEY
    Oh, good. Me neither. (sees a skeleton
    and gasps) 'Cause there's nothin' wrong
    with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible
    response to an unfamiliar situation.
    Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might
    add. With a dragon that breathes fire
    and eats knights and breathes fire,
    it sure doesn't mean you're a coward
    if you're a little scared. I sure as
    heck ain't no coward. I know that.


    SHREK
    Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up.
    Now go over there and see if you can
    find any stairs.

    DONKEY
    Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for
    the princess.

    SHREK
    (putting on a helmet) The princess will
    be up the stairs in the highest room
    in the tallest tower.

    DONKEY
    What makes you think she'll be there?


    SHREK
    I read it in a book once. (walks off)


    DONKEY
    Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle
    the stairs. I'll find those stairs.
    I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs
    won't know which way they're goin'.
    (walks off)

    EMPTY ROOM

    Donkey is still talking to himself as he looks around the room.


    DONKEY
    I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it
    to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm
    the stair master. I've mastered the
    stairs. I wish I had a step right here.
    I'd step all over it.

    ELSEWHERE

    Shrek spots a light in the tallest tower window.

    SHREK
    Well, at least we know where the princess
    is, but where's the...

    DONKEY
    (os) Dragon!

    Donkey gasps and takes off running as the dragon roars again.
    Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon
    breathes fire.

    SHREK
    Donkey, look out! (he manages to get
    a hold of the dragons tail and holds
    on) Got ya!

    The dragon gets irritated at this and flicks it's tail and Shrek
    goes flying through the air and crashes through the roof of the
    tallest tower. Fiona wakes up with a jerk and looks at him lying
    on the floor.

    DONKEY
    Oh! Aah! Aah!

    Donkey get cornered as the Dragon knocks away all but a small
    part of the bridge he's on.

    DONKEY
    No. Oh, no, No! (the dragon roars) Oh,
    what large teeth you have. (the dragon
    growls) I mean white, sparkling teeth.
    I know you probably hear this all time
    from your food, but you must bleach,
    'cause that is one dazzling smile you
    got there. Do I detect a hint of minty

  • 6

    The legend lives on... as a MyTeam card...

  • 6

    Heroes come and go... But legends are... Wait? Too overused?

    Mamba Out! Overused again?

    Umm... Go Kobe?!

  • 5

    THIS IS NOW THE BEST CARD

  • 5

    Kobe bean! He 100% deserves this card. Greatest player of our generation!

  • 5

    When she wants sex...

    Show 2 more replies...
    -1

    "bitch please"

    -4

    When you're not black

    Show 6 replies...
    9

    Welcome to 2k mt central where everyone is racist. Lol

    1

    thats just what you think

    -3

    such an underrated w

  • 5

    One can only hope he'll have a dynamic duo with the Shaqtus or Pau

    4

    shaq duo should raise his fade to a 99 and raise shaqs freethrows

    Show 1 reply...
  • 4
  • 4

    88 pass acuracy??? this ninja hasn't even passed 88 times.

    -1

    Over 5000 assists i hope you fuckin die

    Show 1 reply...
    -1

    lol chill the freak out you kobesexual

  • 4

    @zemGOAT when u edit players in myGM so u can win

    0

    Lol

    Show 6 replies...
    2

    this is your 18,000th comment
    "Lol"
    history

    0

    lol

    1

    say that again

    0

    lol (laughing out loud)

    L (named el/ˈɛl/) is the twelfth letter of the modern English alphabet and the ISO basic Latin alphabet, used in words such as lagoon, lantern, and less.

    O (named o /ˈoʊ/, plural oes) is the 15th letter and the second-to-last vowel in the modern English alphabet and the ISO basic Latin alphabet.

    L (named el/ˈɛl/) is the twelfth letter of the modern English alphabet and the ISO basic Latin alphabet, used in words such as lagoon, lantern, and less.

    2

    well you failed my test
    "say that again"
    Actual Answer: That again

    0

    FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK

    ノಠل͟ಠ༽ノ-︵-┻━┻

  • 4
  • 3

    FINALLY 2K respects Kobe's defense.

  • 3

    when the girl u like text you

  • 3

    This is Kobe's 300th comment! I feel blessed :))

  • 3

    Kobe is a Legend no doubt

  • 3
  • 2

    kobe is so much better than curry

  • 2

    This card has 81 upvotes at the time I wrote this comment. There is an 81 ovr Kobe Card. Illuminati confirmed.

    3

    Didn't he score 81 points?

  • 2

    Heros come and god, butlLegends are remembered forever. Good luck to the rest of your life Kobe and thank you for the memories.

    1

    Harambe was considered a legend. But now he is a dead meme.

    0

    get the spell check mate

    Show 2 more replies...
  • 2

    I cannot see Kobe wearing 8 on the image, but he still is written in description as #8

  • 2

    He is the G.O.A.T Curry sucks donkey dick

  • 2
  • 2

    70 contact dunk dwight howard, ben wallace, and steve nash would disagree.

  • 2
  • 2

    The GOAT and that is undeniable!

  • 2

    Dear 2k


    -The new updated Kobe is the best card in life [IM NOT DICK RIDIN HIM]
    ita just the performance of this card is amazing I've been making shots wth this card its just so amazing to see 4.2k attributes.

    sincerely -Flippindiamonds23

    0

    when u said [IM NOT DICK RIDIN HIM] next time say no homo b4 u say it

  • 2

    51 block...
    That's it,I'm quitting 2kmtcentral because 2k doesn't know about Kobe's blocks...

  • 1

    the passing attributes are too high.

  • 1
  • 1

    WHy is his nickname Kobe and not, oh i dont know, the f**kin black mamba

  • 1

    he can shoot from anywhere

  • 1

    The warriors blew a 3-1 lead

  • 1

    24 in the pic, 85 post fade. He had a well established fade as #24.

    #8 in the card name tho wtf. 2k got me confused

    1
  • 1

    u tell in me kobe has better defense than draymond, duncan and everybody in the lockdown set

  • 1

    kobe wont ever be trash lebron will be tho i bet that lebron will be trash by the time he gets dunked on by russeell westbrook

    4

    What are you even saying

    Show 9 replies...
    -4

    im saying that russell westbrook is a beast and lebron is trash

    3

    Lebron is good

    -3

    fuck lebron and his fucking miami heat and cleveland cavaliers and his mvps and his fucking championships

    2

    you can if u want but I will pass

    -1

    fuck u

    2

    The only thing worse than russell westbrook is your ability to speak english

    -1

    The only thing worse than my ability to speak English is your basketball skills so you can shut the fuck up and get your teeth straight

    0

    What does my skills on the court have anything to do with your elementary spelling

    0

    Your retarded

    0

    Don't talk trash until you learn how to spell a simple name...

    Show 2 replies...
    0

    Fuck you little bitch I'll fuck you up

  • 1

    1999-2009 were his good years.

  • 1

    i have him and he makes every shot

    0

    Oh do ya? How did u get him?

    Show 1 reply...
    0

    Free agent most likely

  • 1

    Why does Kobe only have high work ethic when there is the legendary work ethic badge. This guy worked the hardest of quite possibly any player. A moments D-Rose has legendary work ethic but Kobe doesn't, c'mon man.

  • 1

    his nickname is Kobe 2k? c'mon 2k BLACKMAMBA

  • 1

    2017 allstar snub

  • 1

    2k just made this by far the best card in myteam

  • 1

    His badge should be friendly, usually king and laid back

  • 1

    "Awwwww, I hate that dude"

  • 1

    best card ever

  • 1

    Lebron would have flopped into next week.

  • 1

    OOOOOMMMMMMMMGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 1

    Lol I hope this isn't 2015 Kobe haha

    0

    mtdb.com for all the pictures

    Show 5 replies...
    0

    Shalespeare should be banned for using the words "mt*b

  • 1

    Ha when your contested 3pt shot is better than your open 3pt shot

  • 1
  • 1
  • 1

    Pulled this beast in blacktop

  • 1

    Yall niggas stupid if you think curry and lebron are better than kobe

    0

    I mean stats tell us Lebron is better than Kobe. So rationally speaking Lebron is better than Kobe. But ok... just keep calling other people stupid, just because you watched all of Kobe Bryant's inspiring highlight videos. Oh but Mamba Mentality. And championships and stuff. And he's so cool in his interviews. Oh and yall niggas stupid blah blah blah etc... stfu boi

  • 1

    Upvote if you hate people saying upvote this if...

  • 1

    *makes weird designer noises

  • 1

    kobe is the goat

  • 1

    2K!!! Raise his HOF badges!!!!!

  • 1

    This card is bloody beast. His entire inside scoring is 95 and above except for one.

  • 1

    So later in the year when 2k youtubers have a tournament. Lakers win

  • 1

    Does him having 98 intangibles mean he actually plays like a lower rated card? Or does it not have an affect at this level

    2

    no not this time

  • 1
  • 1

    Only the black mamba can have a higher chance of making a contested shot!

  • 1
  • 1

    Dear Kobe,

    Please come back to the NBA, we miss your amazing game winners, your incredible shots, and your memorable plays. The NBA is nothing without you man, come back.


    From your very one @Mamba_

  • 1

    Once upon a time there was a lovely
    princess. But she had an enchantment
    upon her of a fearful sort which could
    only be broken by love's first kiss.
    She was locked away in a castle guarded
    by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.
    Many brave knights had attempted to
    free her from this dreadful prison,
    but non prevailed. She waited in the
    dragon's keep in the highest room of
    the tallest tower for her true love
    and true love's first kiss. (laughs)
    Like that's ever gonna happen. What
    a load of - (toilet flush)

    Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his
    day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go
    after the ogre.

    NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME

    MAN1
    Think it's in there?

    MAN2
    All right. Let's get it!

    MAN1
    Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that
    thing can do to you?

    MAN3
    Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's
    bread.

    Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.

    SHREK
    Yes, well, actually, that would be a
    giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse.
    They'll make a suit from your freshly
    peeled skin.

    MEN
    No!

    SHREK
    They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the
    jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's
    quite good on toast.

    MAN1
    Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
    (waves the torch at Shrek.)

    Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The
    men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long
    and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the
    men are in the dark.

    SHREK
    This is the part where you run away.
    (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.)
    And stay out! (looks down and picks
    up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted.
    Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and
    throws the paper over his shoulder.)


    THE NEXT DAY

    There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard
    sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures
    to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line
    are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto
    who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three
    little pigs.

    GUARD
    All right. This one's full. Take it
    away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!


    HEAD GUARD
    Next!

    GUARD
    (taking the witch's broom) Give me that!
    Your flying days are over. (breaks the
    broom in half)

    HEAD GUARD
    That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch.
    Next!

    GUARD
    Get up! Come on!

    HEAD GUARD
    Twenty pieces.

    LITTLE BEAR
    (crying) This cage is too small.

    DONKEY
    Please, don't turn me in. I'll never
    be stubborn again. I can change. Please!
    Give me another chance!

    OLD WOMAN
    Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)

    DONKEY
    Oh!

    HEAD GUARD
    Next! What have you got?

    GIPETTO
    This little wooden puppet.

    PINOCCHIO
    I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his
    nose grows)

    HEAD GUARD
    Five shillings for the possessed toy.
    Take it away.

    PINOCCHIO
    Father, please! Don't let them do this!
    Help me!

    Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up
    to the table.

    HEAD GUARD
    Next! What have you got?

    OLD WOMAN
    Well, I've got a talking donkey.

    HEAD GUARD
    Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings,
    if you can prove it.

    OLD WOMAN
    Oh, go ahead, little fella.

    Donkey just looks up at her.

    HEAD GUARD
    Well?

    OLD WOMAN
    Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little
    nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox.
    Talk, you boneheaded dolt...

    HEAD GUARD
    That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!


    OLD WOMAN
    No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends
    to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to
    talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing
    you ever saw.

    HEAD GUARD
    Get her out of my sight.

    OLD WOMAN
    No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

    The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One
    of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's
    hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled
    with fairy dust and he's able to fly.

    DONKEY
    Hey! I can fly!

    PETER PAN
    He can fly!

    3 LITTLE PIGS
    He can fly!

    HEAD GUARD
    He can talk!

    DONKEY
    Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm
    a flying, talking donkey. You might
    have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly
    but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey
    fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins
    to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink
    to the ground.)

    He hits the ground with a thud.

    HEAD GUARD
    Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.)
    After him!

    GUARDS
    He's getting away! Get him! This way!
    Turn!

    Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally.
    Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared
    for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He
    quickly hides behind Shrek.

    HEAD GUARD
    You there. Ogre!

    SHREK
    Aye?

    HEAD GUARD
    By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized
    to place you both under arrest and transport
    you to a designated resettlement facility.


    SHREK
    Oh, really? You and what army?

    He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well
    and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail
    and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and
    begins walking back to his cottage.

    DONKEY
    Can I say something to you? Listen,
    you was really, really, really somethin'
    back here. Incredible!

    SHREK
    Are you talkin' to...(he turns around
    and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back
    around and Donkey is right in front
    of him.) Whoa!

    DONKEY
    Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell
    you that you that you was great back
    here? Those guards! They thought they
    was all of that. Then you showed up,
    and bam! They was trippin' over themselves
    like babes in the woods. That really
    made me feel good to see that.

    SHREK
    Oh, that's great. Really.

    DONKEY
    Man, it's good to be free.

    SHREK
    Now, why don't you go celebrate your
    freedom with your own friends? Hmm?


    DONKEY
    But, uh, I don't have any friends. And
    I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey,
    wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll
    stick with you. You're mean, green,
    fightin' machine. Together we'll scare
    the spit out of anybody that crosses
    us.

    Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very
    loudly.

    DONKEY
    Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you
    don't mind me sayin', if that don't
    work, your breath certainly will get
    the job done, 'cause you definitely
    need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause
    you breath stinks! You almost burned
    the hair outta my nose, just like the
    time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey
    continues to talk, so Shrek removes
    his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten
    berries. I had strong gases leaking
    out of my butt that day.

    SHREK
    Why are you following me?

    DONKEY
    I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause
    I'm all alone, There's no one here beside
    me, My problems have all gone, There's
    no one to deride me, But you gotta have
    faith...

    SHREK
    Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't
    have any friends.

    DONKEY
    Wow. Only a true friend would be that
    cruelly honest.

    SHREK
    Listen, little donkey. Take a look at
    me. What am I?

    DONKEY
    (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really
    tall?

    SHREK
    No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your
    torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that
    bother you?

    DONKEY
    Nope.

    SHREK
    Really?

    DONKEY
    Really, really.

    SHREK
    Oh.

    DONKEY
    Man, I like you. What's you name?

    SHREK
    Uh, Shrek.

    DONKEY
    Shrek? Well, you know what I like about
    you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me
    thing. I like that. I respect that,
    Shrek. You all right. (They come over
    a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.)
    Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live
    in place like that?

    SHREK
    That would be my home.

    DONKEY
    Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful.
    You know you are quite a decorator.
    It's amazing what you've done with such
    a modest budget. I like that boulder.
    That is a nice boulder. I guess you
    don't entertain much, do you?

    SHREK
    I like my privacy.

    DONKEY
    You know, I do too. That's another thing
    we have in common. Like I hate it when
    you got somebody in your face. You've
    trying to give them a hint, and they
    won't leave. There's that awkward silence.
    (awkward silence) Can I stay with you?


    SHREK
    Uh, what?

    DONKEY
    Can I stay with you, please?

    SHREK
    (sarcastically) Of course!

    DONKEY
    Really?

    SHREK
    No.

    DONKEY
    Please! I don't wanna go back there!
    You don't know what it's like to be
    considered a freak. (pause while he
    looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do.
    But that's why we gotta stick together.
    You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!


    SHREK
    Okay! Okay! But one night only.

    DONKEY
    Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage)


    SHREK
    What are you...? (Donkey hops up onto
    a chair.) No! No!

    DONKEY
    This is gonna be fun! We can stay up
    late, swappin' manly stories, and in
    the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.

    SHREK
    Oh!

    DONKEY
    Where do, uh, I sleep?

    SHREK
    (irritated) Outside!

    DONKEY
    Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean,
    I don't know you, and you don't know
    me, so I guess outside is best, you
    know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek
    slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do
    like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was
    born outside. I'll just be sitting by
    myself outside, I guess, you know. By
    myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's
    no one here beside me...

    SHREK'S COTTAGE - NIGHT

    Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits himself down and lights
    a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a
    noise. He stands up with a huff.

    SHREK
    (to Donkey) I thought I told you to
    stay outside.

    DONKEY
    (from the window) I am outside.

    There is another noise and Shrek turns to find the person that
    made the noise. He sees several shadows moving. He finally turns
    and spots 3 blind mice on his table.

    BLIND MOUSE1
    Well, gents, it's a far cry from the
    farm, but what choice do we have?


    BLIND MOUSE2
    It's not home, but it'll do just fine.


    GORDO
    (bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed.


    SHREK
    Got ya. (Grabs a mouse, but it escapes
    and lands on his shoulder.)

    GORDO
    I found some cheese. (bites Shrek's
    ear)

    SHREK
    Ow!

    GORDO
    Blah! Awful stuff.

    BLIND MOUSE1
    Is that you, Gordo?

    GORDO
    How did you know?

    SHREK
    Enough! (he grabs the 3 mice) What are
    you doing in my house? (He gets bumped
    from behind and he drops the mice.)
    Hey! (he turns and sees the Seven Dwarves
    with Snow White on the table.) Oh, no,
    no, no. Dead broad off the table.


    DWARF
    Where are we supposed to put her? The
    bed's taken.

    SHREK
    Huh?

    Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain.
    The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at
    him.

    BIG BAD WOLF
    What?

    TIME LAPSE

    Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging
    him to the front door.

    SHREK
    I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm
    a terrifying ogre! What do I have to
    do get a little privacy? (He opens the
    front door to throw the Wolf out and
    he sees that all the collected Fairy
    Tale Creatures are on his land.) Oh,
    no. No! No!

    The 3 bears sit around the fire, the pied piper is playing his
    pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing
    flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land...etc.


    SHREK
    What are you doing in my swamp? (this
    echoes and everyone falls silent.)


    Gasps are heard all around. The 3 good fairies hide inside a
    tent.

    SHREK
    All right, get out of here. All of you,
    move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya!
    Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more
    dwarves run inside the house) No, no!
    No, no. Not there. Not there. (they
    shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to
    look at Donkey)

    DONKEY
    Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite
    them.

    PINOCCHIO
    Oh, gosh, no one invited us.

    SHREK
    What?

    PINOCCHIO
    We were forced to come here.

    SHREK
    (flabbergasted) By who?

    LITTLE PIG
    Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed
    and he...signed an eviction notice.


    SHREK
    (heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where
    this Farquaad guy is?

    Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers.

    DONKEY
    Oh, I do. I know where he is.

    SHREK
    Does anyone else know where to find
    him? Anyone at all?

    DONKEY
    Me! Me!

    SHREK
    Anyone?

    DONKEY
    Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know!
    Me, me!

    SHREK
    (sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy
    tale things. Do not get comfortable.
    Your welcome is officially worn out.
    In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad
    right now and get you all off my land
    and back where you came from! (Pause.
    Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey)
    You! You're comin' with me.

    DONKEY
    All right, that's what I like to hear,
    man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart
    friends, off on a whirlwind big-city
    adventure. I love it!

    DONKEY
    (singing) On the road again. Sing it
    with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get
    on the road again.

    SHREK
    What did I say about singing?

    DONKEY
    Can I whistle?

    SHREK
    No.

    DONKEY
    Can I hum it?

    SHREK
    All right, hum it.

    Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'.

    DULOC - KITCHEN

    A masked man is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually
    dunking him in a glass of milk. Lord Farquaad walks in.

    FARQUAAD
    That's enough. He's ready to talk.


    The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk and slammed down
    onto a cookie sheet. Farquaad laughs as he walks over to the
    table. However when he reaches the table we see that it goes
    up to his eyes. He clears his throat and the table is lowered.


    FARQUAAD
    (he picks up the Gingerbread Man's legs
    and plays with them) Run, run, run,
    as fast as you can. You can't catch
    me. I'm the gingerbread man.

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    You are a monster.

    FARQUAAD
    I'm not the monster here. You are. You
    and the rest of that fairy tale trash,
    poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell
    me! Where are the others?

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    Eat me! (He spits milk into Farquaad's
    eye.)

    FARQUAAD
    I've tried to be fair to you creatures.
    Now my patience has reached its end!
    Tell me or I'll...(he makes as if to
    pull off the Gingerbread Man's buttons)


    GINGERBREAD MAN
    No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop
    buttons.

    FARQUAAD
    All right then. Who's hiding them?


    GINGERBREAD MAN
    Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the
    muffin man?

    FARQUAAD
    The muffin man?

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    The muffin man.

    FARQUAAD
    Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives
    on Drury Lane?

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    Well, she's married to the muffin man.


    FARQUAAD
    The muffin man?

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    The muffin man!

    FARQUAAD
    She's married to the muffin man.

    The door opens and the Head Guard walks in.

    HEAD GUARD
    My lord! We found it.

    FARQUAAD
    Then what are you waiting for? Bring
    it in.

    More guards enter carrying something that is covered by a sheet.
    They hang up whatever it is and remove the sheet. It is the Magic
    Mirror.

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    (in awe) Ohhhh...

    FARQUAAD
    Magic mirror...

    GINGERBREAD MAN
    Don't tell him anything! (Farquaad picks
    him up and dumps him into a trash can
    with a lid.) No!

    FARQUAAD
    Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall.
    Is this not the most perfect kingdom
    of them all?

    MIRROR
    Well, technically you're not a king.


    FARQUAAD
    Uh, Thelonius. (Thelonius holds up a
    hand mirror and smashes it with his
    fist.) You were saying?

    MIRROR
    What I mean is you're not a king yet.
    But you can become one. All you have
    to do is marry a princess.

    FARQUAAD
    Go on.

    MIRROR
    (chuckles nervously) So, just sit back
    and relax, my lord, because it's time
    for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes.
    And here they are! Bachelorette number
    one is a mentally abused shut-in from
    a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi
    and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies
    include cooking and cleaning for her
    two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella.
    (shows picture of Cinderella) Bachelorette
    number two is a cape-wearing girl from
    the land of fancy. Although she lives
    with seven other men, she's not easy.
    Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and
    find out what a live wire she is. Come
    on. Give it up for Snow White! (shows
    picture of Snow White) And last, but
    certainly not last, bachelorette number
    three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded
    castle surrounded by hot boiling lava!
    But don't let that cool you off. She's
    a loaded pistol who likes pina colads
    and getting caught in the rain. Yours
    for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! (Shows
    picture of Princess Fiona) So will it
    be bachelorette number one, bachelorette
    number two or bachelorette number three?


    GUARDS
    Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three!


    FARQUAAD
    Three? One? Three?

    THELONIUS
    Three! (holds up 2 fingers) Pick number
    three, my lord!

    FARQUAAD
    Okay, okay, uh, number three!

    MIRROR
    Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess
    Fiona.

    FARQUAAD
    Princess Fiona. She's perfect. All I
    have to do is just find someone who
    can go...

    MIRROR
    But I probably should mention the little
    thing that happens at night.

    FARQUAAD
    I'll do it.

    MIRROR
    Yes, but after sunset...

    FARQUAAD
    Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona
    my queen, and DuLoc will finally have
    the perfect king! Captain, assemble
    your finest men. We're going to have
    a tournament. (smiles evilly)

    DuLoc Parking Lot - Lancelot Section

    Shrek and Donkey come out of the field that is right by the parking
    lot. The castle itself is about 40 stories high.

    DONKEY
    But that's it. That's it right there.
    That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it.


    SHREK
    So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.


    DONKEY
    Uh-huh. That's the place.

    SHREK
    Do you think maybe he's compensating
    for something? (He laughs, but then
    groans as Donkey doesn't get the joke.
    He continues walking through the parking
    lot.)

    DONKEY
    Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.

    MAN
    Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.


    SHREK
    Hey, you! (The attendant, who is wearing
    a giant head that looks like Lord Farquaad,
    screams and begins running through the
    rows of rope to get to the front gate
    to get away from Shrek.) Wait a second.
    Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just
    - - I just - - (He sighs and then begins
    walking straight through the rows. The
    attendant runs into a wall and falls
    down. Shrek and Donkey look at him then
    continue on into DuLoc.)

    DULOC

    They look around but all is quiet.

    SHREK
    It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody?


    DONKEY
    Hey, look at this!

    Donkey runs over and pulls a lever that is attached to a box
    marked 'Information'. The music winds up and then the box doors
    open up. There are little wooden people inside and they begin
    to sing.

    WOODEN PEOPLE
    Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town


    Here we have some rules

    Let us lay them down

    Don't make waves, stay in line

    And we'll get along fine

    DuLoc is perfect place

    Please keep off of the grass

    Shine your shoes, wipe your... face

    DuLoc is, DuLoc is

    DuLoc is perfect place.

    Suddenly a camera takes Donkey and Shrek's picture.

    DONKEY
    Wow! Let's do that again! (makes ready
    to run over and pull the lever again)


    SHREK
    (grabs Donkey's tail and holds him still)
    No. No. No, no, no! No.

    They hear a trumpet fanfare and head over to the arena.

    FARQUAAD
    Brave knights. You are the best and
    brightest in all the land. Today one
    of you shall prove himself...

    As Shrek and Donkey walk down the tunnel to get into the arena
    Donkey is humming the DuLoc theme song.

    SHREK
    All right. You're going the right way
    for a smacked bottom.

    DONKEY
    Sorry about that.

    FARQUAAD
    That champion shall have the honor -
    - no, no - - the privilege to go forth
    and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona
    from the fiery keep of the dragon. If
    for any reason the winner is unsuccessful,
    the first runner-up will take his place
    and so on and so forth. Some of you
    may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing
    to make. (cheers) Let the tournament
    begin! (He notices Shrek) Oh! What is
    that? It's hideous!

    SHREK
    (turns to look at Donkey and then back
    at Farquaad) Ah, that's not very nice.
    It's just a donkey.

    FARQUAAD
    Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who
    kills the ogre will be named champion!
    Have it him!

    MEN
    Get him!

    SHREK
    Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. (bumps
    into a table where there are mugs of
    beer)

    CROWD
    Go ahead! Get him!

    SHREK
    (holds up a mug of beer) Can't we just
    settle this over a pint?

    CROWD
    Kill the beast!

    SHREK
    No? All right then. (drinks the beer)
    Come on!

    He takes the mug and smashes the spigot off the large barrel
    of beer behind him. The beer comes rushing out drenching the
    other men and wetting the ground. It's like mud now. Shrek slides
    past the men and picks up a spear that one of the men dropped.
    As Shrek begins to fight Donkey hops up onto one of the larger
    beer barrels. It breaks free of it's ropes and begins to roll.
    Donkey manages to squish two men into the mud. There is so much
    fighting going on here I'm not going to go into detail. Suffice
    to say that Shrek kicks butt.

    DONKEY
    Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!

    Shrek comes over and bangs a man's head up against Donkeys. Shrek
    gets up on the ropes and interacts with the crowd.

    SHREK
    Yeah!

    A man tries to sneak up behind Shrek, but Shrek turns in time
    and sees him.

    WOMAN
    The chair! Give him the chair!

    Shrek smashes a chair over the guys back. Finally all the men
    are down. Donkey kicks one of them in the helmet, and the ding
    sounds the end of the match. The audience goes wild.

    SHREK
    Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you
    very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try
    the veal! Ha, ha! (laughs)

    The laughter stops as all of the guards turn their weapons on
    Shrek.

    HEAD GUARD
    Shall I give the order, sir?

    FARQUAAD
    No, I have a better idea. People of
    DuLoc, I give you our champion!

    SHREK
    What?

    FARQUAAD
    Congratulations, ogre. You're won the
    honor of embarking on a great and noble
    quest.

    SHREK
    Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest
    to get my swamp back.

    FARQUAAD
    Your swamp?

    SHREK
    Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those
    fairy tale creatures!

    FARQUAAD
    Indeed. All right, ogre. I'll make you
    a deal. Go on this quest for me, and
    I'll give you your swamp back.

    SHREK
    Exactly the way it was?

    FARQUAAD
    Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.


    SHREK
    And the squatters?

    FARQUAAD
    As good as gone.

    SHREK
    What kind of quest?

    Time Lapse - Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field
    heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion.

    DONKEY
    Let me get this straight. You're gonna
    go fight a dragon and rescue a princess
    just so Farquaad will give you back
    a swamp which you only don't have because
    he filled it full of freaks in the first
    place. Is that about right?

    SHREK
    You know, maybe there's a good reason
    donkeys shouldn't talk.

    DONKEY
    I don't get it. Why don't you just pull
    some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle
    him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds
    his bones to make your bread, the whole
    ogre trip.

    SHREK
    Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have
    decapitated an entire village and put
    their heads on a pike, gotten a knife,
    cut open their spleen and drink their
    fluids. Does that sound good to you?


    DONKEY
    Uh, no, not really, no.

    SHREK
    For your information, there's a lot
    more to ogres than people think.

    DONKEY
    Example?

    SHREK
    Example? Okay, um, ogres are like onions.
    (he holds out his onion)

    DONKEY
    (sniffs the onion) They stink?

    SHREK
    Yes - - No!

    DONKEY
    They make you cry?

    SHREK
    No!

    DONKEY
    You leave them in the sun, they get
    all brown, start sproutin' little white
    hairs.

    SHREK
    No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres
    have layers! Onions have layers. You
    get it? We both have layers. (he heaves
    a sigh and then walks off)

    DONKEY
    (trailing after Shrek) Oh, you both
    have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know,
    not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody
    loves cakes! Cakes have layers.

    SHREK
    I don't care... what everyone likes.
    Ogres are not like cakes.

    DONKEY
    You know what else everybody likes?
    Parfaits. Have you ever met a person,
    you say, "Let's get some parfait," they
    say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"?
    Parfaits are delicious.

    SHREK
    No! You dense, irritating, miniature
    beast of burden! Ogres are like onions!
    And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.


    DONKEY
    Parfaits may be the most delicious thing
    on the whole damn planet.

    SHREK
    You know, I think I preferred your humming.


    DONKEY
    Do you have a tissue or something? I'm
    making a mess. Just the word parfait
    make me start slobbering.

    They head off. There is a montage of their journey. Walking through
    a field at sunset. Sleeping beneath a bright moon. Shrek trying
    to put the campfire out the next day and having a bit of a problem,
    so Donkey pees on the fire to put it out.

    DRAGON'S KEEP

    Shrek and Donkey are walking up to the keep that's supposed to
    house Princess Fiona. It appears to look like a giant volcano.


    DONKEY
    (sniffs) Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?
    You gotta warn somebody before you just
    crack one off. My mouth was open and
    everything.

    SHREK
    Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd
    be dead. (sniffs) It's brimstone. We
    must be getting close.

    DONKEY
    Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking
    about it's the brimstone. I know what
    I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It
    didn't come off no stone neither.


    They climb up the side of the volcano/keep and look down. There
    is a small piece of rock right in the center and that is where
    the castle is. It is surrounded by boiling lava. It looks very
    foreboding.

    SHREK
    Sure, it's big enough, but look at the
    location. (laughs...then the laugh turns
    into a groan)

    DONKEY
    Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said
    ogres have layers?

    SHREK
    Oh, aye.

    DONKEY
    Well, I have a bit of a confession to
    make. Donkeys don't have layers. We
    wear our fear right out there on our
    sleeves.

    SHREK
    Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.


    DONKEY
    You know what I mean.

    SHREK
    You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.


    DONKEY
    No, I'm just a little uncomfortable
    about being on a rickety bridge over
    a boiling like of lava!

    SHREK
    Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside
    ya, okay? For emotional support., we'll
    just tackle this thing together one
    little baby step at a time.

    DONKEY
    Really?

    SHREK
    Really, really.

    DONKEY
    Okay, that makes me feel so much better.


    SHREK
    Just keep moving. And don't look down.


    DONKEY
    Okay, don't look down. Don't look down.
    Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't
    look down. (he steps through a rotting
    board and ends up looking straight down
    into the lava) Shrek! I'm lookin' down!
    Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me
    off, please!

    SHREK
    But you're already halfway.

    DONKEY
    But I know that half is safe!

    SHREK
    Okay, fine. I don't have time for this.
    You go back.

    DONKEY
    Shrek, no! Wait!

    SHREK
    Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance
    then, shall me? (bounces and sways the
    bridge)

    DONKEY
    Don't do that!

    SHREK
    Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? (bounces
    the bridge again)

    DONKEY
    Yes, that!

    SHREK
    Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. (continues to
    bounce and sway as he backs Donkey across
    the bridge)

    DONKEY
    No, Shrek! No! Stop it!

    SHREK
    You said do it! I'm doin' it.

    DONKEY
    I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek,
    I'm gonna die. (steps onto solid ground)
    Oh!

    SHREK
    That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. (walks
    towards the castle)

    DONKEY
    Cool. So where is this fire-breathing
    pain-in-the-neck anyway?

    SHREK
    Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
    (chuckles)

    DONKEY
    I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.


    INSIDE THE CASTLE

    DONKEY
    You afraid?

    SHREK
    No.

    DONKEY
    But...

    SHREK
    Shh.

    DONKEY
    Oh, good. Me neither. (sees a skeleton
    and gasps) 'Cause there's nothin' wrong
    with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible
    response to an unfamiliar situation.
    Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might
    add. With a dragon that breathes fire
    and eats knights and breathes fire,
    it sure doesn't mean you're a coward
    if you're a little scared. I sure as
    heck ain't no coward. I know that.


    SHREK
    Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up.
    Now go over there and see if you can
    find any stairs.

    DONKEY
    Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for
    the princess.

    SHREK
    (putting on a helmet) The princess will
    be up the stairs in the highest room
    in the tallest tower.

    DONKEY
    What makes you think she'll be there?


    SHREK
    I read it in a book once. (walks off)


    DONKEY
    Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle
    the stairs. I'll find those stairs.
    I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs
    won't know which way they're goin'.
    (walks off)

    EMPTY ROOM

    Donkey is still talking to himself as he looks around the room.


    DONKEY
    I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it
    to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm
    the stair master. I've mastered the
    stairs. I wish I had a step right here.
    I'd step all over it.

    ELSEWHERE

    Shrek spots a light in the tallest tower window.

    SHREK
    Well, at least we know where the princess
    is, but where's the...

    DONKEY
    (os) Dragon!

    Donkey gasps and takes off running as the dragon roars again.
    Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon
    breathes fire.

    SHREK
    Donkey, look out! (he manages to get
    a hold of the dragons tail and holds
    on) Got ya!

    The dragon gets irritated at this and flicks it's tail and Shrek
    goes flying through the air and crashes through the roof of the
    tallest tower. Fiona wakes up with a jerk and looks at him lying
    on the floor.

    DONKEY
    Oh! Aah! Aah!

    Donkey get cornered as the Dragon knocks away all but a small
    part of the bridge he's on.

    DONKEY
    No. Oh, no, No! (the dragon roars) Oh,
    what large teeth you have. (the dragon
    growls) I mean white, sparkling teeth.
    I know you probably hear this all time
    from your food, but you must bleach,
    'cause that is one dazzling smile you
    got there. Do I detect a hint of minty

  • 1
  • 1

    How is his Post Fade still just 85 like wtf 2K what is this disrespect

    1

    Put some respeck on his name!

  • 1

    All I can say is







    KOBE

  • 1

    My son Lonzo is a better shooter than Steph Curry, a better dunker than Vince Carter, a better dribbler than Allen Iverson, a better passer than Steve Nash, a better rebounder than Dennis Rodman, a better flopper than Lebron, a better Shaqtin MVP than Javale, a better quarterback than Tom Brady, a better hitter than Hank Aaron,a better actor than Leonardo DiCaprio, a better dancer than Michael Jackson, a better wrestler than Stone Cold Steve Austin, as a matter of fact he's better at reading this comment than you are at reading this comment- LaVar Ball

    0

    says it all the time

  • 1

    Why Kobe is better than Jordan

    Gambling Addiction?
    Jordan-Yes
    Kobe-No

    Been High with Snoop Dogg?
    Jordan-No
    Kobe-Yes

    Total Losses as an Eastern Conference team
    Jordan-366
    Kobe-0

    Was good enough to get drafted out of high school?
    Jordan-No
    Kobe-Yes

    Chose to leave the team he played for?(Including Retirement)
    Jordan-Three Times
    Kobe-Once

    Lost to the Pistons in three Consecutive Playoffs
    Jordan-Yes
    Kobe-No

    Dunked on Dwight Howard?
    Jordan-No
    Kobe-Yes

    Got cut by his high school team?
    Jordan-Yes
    Kobe-No

    Let his Jersey get Stolen?
    Jordan-Yes
    Kobe-No

    Beat Boston in a Playoff Series?
    Jordan-No
    Kobe-Yes

    Greatest Player for the Franchise in the last 20 years?(1997-2017)
    Bulls-Brian Scalabrine
    Lakers-Kobe Bryant

    Scored more than 80 points in a game?
    Jordan-No
    Kobe-Yes

    Carried Smush Parker and Kwame Brown to the playoffs?
    Jordan-No
    Kobe-Yes

  • 1
  • 1

    why would anyone want a card that has 69 offensive rebound?

  • 1
  • 1

    Forever A Legend!

  • 1

    When 85 fade doesn't go up
    TRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGEREDTRIGGERED

  • 1

    Kobe Is The Best In My Opinion But Anytime I Hear someone say Curry For The Win KYS

  • 1

    #THANKYOUKOBE #LEGENDSNEVERDIE well except steph curry

  • 1

    should have a higher rebounding overall

  • 1

    Get Drafted = Pass to Kobe

  • 1

    OFFICIALLY THE BEST CARD IN 2K HISTORY

  • 1

    My teacher gave me a math equation. Work ethic x Winning x Skill=X. I'm like thats so easy don't even have to solve it. X= Greatness. I showed it to her and she said to simplify. So I wrote X=Greatness=Kobe. I got an A+ in math that year.

  • 1

    Post Fade should be 90+ tho

  • 1

    This card will be wanted by many when it is available
    ESPECIALLY TROYDAN

  • 1

    Im gay for this card

  • 1

    85 post fade for kobe. I am not a kobe fan but that is just blasphemy he was a more polished post player as 24 as compared to when he was number 8

  • 1

    Now he's the top spot on total attributes over Charles Barkley. GG

  • 1

    His hot zones need to be fixed.

  • 1

    can we get a kobe with a higher fadeway than 85 2k pls

  • 1

    zemigoat who is ur fav plyr?

  • 1

    i need now

  • 1
  • 1
  • 1

    better than steph

  • 1
  • 1
  • 1

    when the nick names r creative as anything

  • 1

    can some people please follow me

  • 1
  • 1

    can some people please follow me

  • 1

    played with him on blacktop he is amazing

  • 1

    can some people please follow me

  • 0

    comment #750

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    oooooooohhhhhhhhhh

  • 0

    Like me to #1

  • 0

    IDC what anyone thinks, this man is the greatest player in NBA history!

    0

    Lol no ever heard of these guys

    Wilt Chamberlain
    Michael Jordan
    Oscar Robertson
    Shaquille O'Neal
    LeBron James

    those people are arguably better than Kobe

    Show 1 reply...
    0

    Arguably?

    They're all (except Oscar IMO) definitely better

  • 0

    [Deleted]

  • 0

    cheif keef bang

  • 0

    Kobe is still the best player even from the 2k gods (not talking boy Ronnie) lmao

  • 0

    All the hotzones tho....

  • 0

    fisher would Lavar let you say that ?????

  • 0
  • 0

    lavar would have scored 81

  • 0

    ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
    ░░░░░░░▄██████▄░░░░░░░░░░░▄██████▄░░░░░░
    ░░░░░▄██████████▄░░░░░░░▄██████████▄░░░░
    ░░░▄██████████████▄░░░▄██████████████▄░░
    ░░█████▀▀▀██████████▄███████████▀██████░
    ░░██████░█████▀▀▀███▀▀███▀▀███▀▀░██████░
    ░░██████░█████░██░█░▀▀░█░▀▀░█░██░██████░
    ░░█████▀░▀████░██░█▄▀▀▀█▄▀▀▀█▄▀▀░██████░
    ░░█████████████████████████████████████░
    ░░█████████████████████████████████████░
    ░░░▀█████████░██░█▀▄▄▀█░██░██████████▀░░
    ░░░░░▀███████▄▀▀░█░██░█░██░████████▀░░░░
    ░░░░░░░▀████████░██▄▄███▄▄███████▀░░░░░░
    ░░░░░░░░░▀███▄▄▄███████████████▀░░░░░░░░
    ░░░░░░░░░░░▀█████████████████▀░░░░░░░░░░
    ░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀█████████████▀░░░░░░░░░░░░
    ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀█████████▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
    ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀█████▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
    ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

  • 0

    If they were going to make two 99 Kobe cards, at least make one for #24.

  • 0

    100 flashy dunking now thats lit

  • 0

    OwO WHAT'S THIS????

  • 0
  • 0

    only 85 Post Fade?!?!?!............... YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!!!

    -1

    ikr he is the goat of fades!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 0

    Bad Card *completely sarcastic*

  • 0

    He is easily my favorite player ever. lebron is my second. how can you not like KOBE BEAN BRYANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    -1

    It's wrong to like Kobe AND LeBron. That's just how it is.

    Show 1 reply...
    0

    How? are you a curry fan.

  • 0

    Them shooting stars tho...

  • 0

    can yall shutup damnn

  • 0

    Never have i seen so much light green in my life

  • 0

    ESPN shows him no respect and they ranked him the 12th greatest player of all time

    0

    He is definitely a top 10 player in my opinion, probably even top 5

    -1

    Who care about ESPN they haters he 1st no matter what

  • 0

    no HOF tireless scorer thoo?

  • 0

    This card is god like as it should be Kobe is the best scorer, MJ best player, Lebron best all around player! But Kobe also needs a diamond maybe for the 50-point-game streak or something!

  • 0

    WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

  • 0

    I just noticed this but how tf does 2k give him both the reserved and expressive badge?

  • 0

    WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

  • 0
  • 0

    Arguably the most UNTOUCHABLE card in the game next to Charles Barkley.

    0

    Better than Barkley

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    MAKE THAT PASSING A BIT LOWER

  • 0

    As a die hard Kobe fan I have to say this is the greatest boost to already the greatest card ever made in a 2k game. Ever.

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    JJNB.B.NYR53EGDH3YJMJH DGY3JETGKDH3RMGE HDH3G;TD MHY3JGEDJTKM3 RDGJ3EGEHD3GEGDB HJ3GEDDHSGH B3DEG GHDBJGHDHDG3FJ DEGHJ3 EHRDGNGM3JJGHBD

  • 0
  • 0

    98 intangables...... hes a 96 ovr

  • 0
  • 0

    That expression you make when you get an A+..

    0

    He lookin strait cause he gonna get all A+ threes #SPLASH

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    WTF is his nickname Kobe? And why isnt his overall OVeR 9000?

  • 0
  • 0

    To everyone reading this comment...Your shoes are untied.

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    kobe is now the best card in the game

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    Someone throw a guess out there... How much mt to collect up to him?

    0

    You need to collect 2500 cards to get him, sooooo a lot. A LOT.

  • 0
  • 0

    Wow 2k made kobe better then mr.i spit on a girl

  • 0
  • 0

    Kobe is gonna be 37 in every card I guess

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    let me tell you why jordan is better than anybody to ever play in the NBA. Jordan went to the Finals 6 times, won the championship 6 times, won Finals MVP 6 times. Despite the fact, that he had retired for 2 years to play baseball. Until someone gets close to that....

  • 0
  • 0

    2k: the only place kobe is better than jordan

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    Did anyone get Kobe yet?

    0
  • 0
  • 0

    no shaq dynamic duo?

    0

    @toy12311 kobe and shaq hated each other and kobe did not use shaq like he could have (tsk tsk) but if you look up videos you will find out shaq and kobe did not like each other one bit

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    how much mt to get the cards needed for reward?

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    Overrated, especially by all the lil kids thinking that hes a top 5 player of all time

    0

    Ricky is top 5 though

    Show 2 replies...
    0

    you probably didn't even know who he was before this site

  • 0
  • 0

    For me and so many more Kobe will always be the greatest sports icon on planet earth. Can not believe the GOAT has retired. The NBA will never be the same without the Mamba <3

  • 0
  • 0

    "I will find you"

  • 0
  • 0

    [Deleted]

    0

    this is a ass card

  • 0
  • 0

    Lovely! complete beast best free agent/pink diamond by far

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    So Im new... can anyone tell me if Kobe sucks?

  • 0
  • 0

    When you can't believe 2k give you defense

    0

    He the mamba though

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    You should be able to get this card in a draft...

  • 0
  • 0

    omg damn!!!!!!!!!

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    Only man to have his first name as his nickname

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    He's cash money

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    kobe bryant is overrated

  • 0
  • 0

    Doesn't have a 99 contested shot. WOW 2k really dropped the bar!

  • 0

    Gameplay.. https://youtu.be/IonDWaami_Y

  • 0

    KOBE!

    Why don't I pass to Kobe?

    Only problem is that he won't pass back

    Maybe I could steal it!

    Well, he's Kobe of course

    Why don't I just wack him!

    Again, he's Kobe

    Maybe I can take it when he's on the bench!

    Wait, I forgot. He'll always have the ball

    Well, time for bed now

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    how come he got a 90 speed? which year is this?

  • 0
  • 0

    68 passing vision LOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLOLLOLOLLLOLOLOLOLLLOL

  • 0
  • 0

    Westbrook for the win

  • 0

    Who's Kobe Bryant?

    -2

    only the best player to ever live

    Show 15 replies...
    0

    That's a little off. LBJ is

    0

    RIP my ninja

    0

    lebron aint got nothing on kobe

    0

    Yeah he does

    0

    oh yeah not lebron

    0

    who has 5 rings?

    0

    In what world is kobe better lmao nigga fuck off, LeBron didn't have a prime Shaq to carry him to 3 championships, fuck off

    0

    In what world is kobe better lmao nigga fuck off, LeBron didn't have a prime Shaq to carry him to 3 championships, fuck off

    0

    Kobe but LBJ has 5

    0

    why you always lying..

    0

    I'm not tho lol

    0

    he is probably gonna pass MJ but he's not past him yet

    0

    I couldn't agree more

    0

    I thought Roy Hibbert was the best player in the league

  • 0

    How many 99 is this dude gonna get damn

  • 0

    he is showing the mamba face of disgusted st Kwame Brown, Dwight Howard, and Shaq,

  • 0

    Why did they have to make it '08 Kobe??? I thought the card was supposed to honor his career as a whole.

  • 0

    Dem hotspots tho

  • 0
  • 0

    If I get this card, I'm going to freaking die with excitement

  • 0

    i used this card in blacktop and he sucked

  • 0

    Just got him in 2K! he is so lit!!
    ~

  • 0

    When you got him in 2k17 but the pass button wont work on him :)

  • 0

    0 kold zones tho

  • 0

    I guarantee that 2k will release a kobe card on Mamba Day. You heard it here first.

    0

    u was wrong bruh

  • 0

    70 contact dunk?
    nash and howard would disagree

  • 0

    Up Vote this Comment if U think Kobe is the BEST!
    RIGHT THERE THE LIKE BUTTON
    YUP THAT'S RIGHT

  • 0

    I wonder why Reggie Miller isn't in this game 3 point beast!!

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    Kobe is a fucking god, he never misses and he deserves to be an overall 99

    0

    lol "he never misses"

  • 0

    If you do the math, this card is actually an 85 overall. Even after averaging in the 99 potential and 98 intangibles, it only averages up to a 95. 2k obviously lies about the overalls.

    1

    Rating is calculated by relevant stats to the player's position

  • 0

    Post all your latest rosters, pictures, and gameplay videos for the NBA 2k-world to see @ JoinInVideos. tv

  • 0
  • 0

    this is CALEB DIJFEIKFJNRJDMC,NGBDICTKLGFJMGBKJDM,N HKB,TGJVMKGHB,RMF

  • 0

    Passing IQ= 82
    I guess he always knows when NOT to pass

  • 0

    i don't understand why this card has such high play-making. Kobe is a ball hog

  • 0

    To make it more realistic: lower three point shot. Raise shot contest, rebounding, post fade.

  • 0

    when the kid sitting next to you in class smells like shit

  • 0
  • 0

    i will make sure kobe has more comments than sapphire curry

  • 0

    When coach gonna take the team out to dinner but Shaq want Taco Bell

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

    kobe has 90 playmaking. Just saying

  • 0

    So if I pulled this card, I would be able to keep him?

  • 0

    Only 85 Post Fade........ 2k....

  • 0

    Why It Say Celtics

  • 0

    His hotspot is everywhere....... Wish it made his passing better.

  • 0

    99 ender of careers

  • 0

    if i playing someone and the person has this card i'm quitting

  • 0

    Why is this card under the Historic Celtic Franchise when I looked it up?

    0

    I don't know, man. but same thing happened to me. when I looked him up, he is under the historic celtics franchise. kobe is a laker, not celtic

    Show 1 reply...
    -1

    2K need to fix this, because a lot of lakers fans might get pissed if they don't.

  • 0

    Kobe Bryant

    You love him, because it's Kobe fucking Bryant

  • 0

    No 2k, his nickname is Black Mamba, not Kobe

  • 0

    FUNNY MOMENTS OF KOBE
    https://youtu.be/A4FjHkaPPNw

  • 0

    Why the Fuck is his Nickname not the Black Mamba???

  • 0
  • 0

    Too lazy... May as well "pass" on this card.

  • 0

    I drafted this card in blacktop. But I don't wanna use it

  • 0

    Im tired of people hyping up kobe hes not even top 100 in league he got carried

    0

    @J4COB2k
    When you trying to get down votes but failing
    L

  • 0

    Lmao 97 intangibles no thanks

  • 0
  • 0

    I didn't think Kobe was that good

  • 0

    Tireless scorer should be amethyst!!

    0

    Its hall of fame lol

    Show 3 replies...
    -2

    @kobebruh Difficult shots and Mid range dead-eye are.... silly

    -1

    Boi. I'm talking about the badges there are not amethyst badges

  • 0

    New picture now

  • 0

    WTF 70 Strength and most of he's stats are 90+ tf 2k