'95 Michael Jordan
Historic NBA Collection / Historic Bulls 2
General information
Theme
Signature SeriesAdded
May 4th, 2018Height
6'6" (198cm)Weight
195lbs (88kg)Age
32Team
Chicago BullsFrom
North CarolinaNickname
MJDynamic Duo
94 Scottie PippenPlays
Isolation Mid Range Cutter
99 Overall
97 Outside scoring +1
- 99 Open shot mid
- 99 Contested shot mid
- 99 Off dribble shot mid
- 96 Open shot 3pt +2
- 92 Contested shot 3pt
- 93 Off dribble shot 3pt
- 99 Shot IQ
- 99 Free throw
- 99 Offensive consistency
98 Inside scoring
- 99 Shot close
- 99 Standing layup
- 99 Driving layup
- 90 Standing dunk
- 99 Driving dunk
- 99 Contact dunk
- 99 Draw foul
- 93 Post control
- 85 Post hook
- 99 Post fadeaway
- 98 Hands
98 Athleticism
- 98 Speed
- 98 Acceleration
- 99 Vertical
- 80 Strength
- 99 Stamina
- 99 Hustle
- 98 Overall durability
93 Playmaking
- 95 Speed with ball
- 95 Ball control
- 95 Passing accuracy
- 89 Passing vision
- 93 Passing IQ
99 Defending
- 99 On-ball defense IQ
- 78 Low post defense IQ
- 99 Help defense IQ
- 99 Pick & roll defense IQ
- 99 Lateral quickness
- 99 Pass perception
- 98 Reaction time
- 99 Steal
- 84 Block
- 99 Shot contest
- 99 Defensive consistency
82 Rebounding
- 80 Offensive rebound
- 83 Defensive rebound
- 82 Boxout
- 4369 Total attributesattr. +2
Outside Scoring
Difficult Shots
Known for making tough shots off the dribble.
Tireless Scorer
A player who can spend a good deal of energy without losing effectiveness when attempting to score.
Catch & Shoot
Hits stand-still shots off the catch at a high percentage.
Corner Specialist
Known for his ability to knock down threes from the corner.
Deep Range Deadeye
Knocks down contested shots from deep range at a very high percentage.
Limitless Range
Can knock down very deep threes better than most.Inside Scoring
Acrobat
Can attempt layups with few consequences.
Tear Dropper
Excels at making floaters and runners
Relentless Finisher
Takes physical punishment on contact shots near the rim without severely impacting his energy.
Post Spin Technician
Dominates the post with spin and drive moves.
Putback King
Known for his ability to score baskets immediately off of offensive rebounds near the hoop.
Drop-Stepper
Known for his ability to user the drop step move to his advantage in the post.
Dream-Like Up & Under
Excels at scoring in the post with up and under moves.Playmaking
Pick & Roll Maestro
Throws accurate passes and hits shots off screens at a high percentage while orchestrating a pick & roll.
Lob City Passer
Completes alley-oop passes at a high rate.
Ankle Breaker
Can cause his defender to stumble or fall with his dribble moves.
Flashy Passer
Known for throwing on-point flashy passes to his receivers.
Break Starter
Starts fast breaks with accurate outlet passes.
Dimer
An elite passer known for hitting teammates in the correct position to score.Athleticism
Lob City Finisher
Catches and finishes alley-oops better than others.
Posterizer
Will succeed at dunking on opposing defenders more often than others.
One Man Fast Break
Excels at taking the ball coast to coast on a fast break.Defending
Defensive Stopper
While playing on-ball defense, this badge drops various offensive skills of similarly positioned match-ups.
Charge Card
Adept at placing himself in position to win charge calls.
Pick Dodger
A slithery player who can get around screens easily.
Pick Pocket
Known for his ability to strip the ball from a ball-handler.
Chase Down Artist
Terrific transition shot-blocker.Rebounding
Personality
Alpha Dog
Team leader who takes it upon himself to lead his team to victory.
Clutch Performer
Steps his game up in big games and big moments.
Spark Plug
Comes off the bench or comes out of timeouts making big plays that can energize his teammates.
Championship DNA
Can quickly see where double teams are coming from. Also steps up his game in playoff moments.
Microwave
A player who heats up quicker than most.
Floor General
An offensive leader who can help his teammates play better on offense while he's on the floor
Defensive Anchor
Defensive leader who helps his teammates perform better defensively.
Hardened
Will play through fatigue and injury without experiencing a severe drop in skill.Dunks
- 75 Standing dunk
- 100 Driving dunk
- 100 Flashy dunk
- 75 Alley-oop
- 75 Putback dunk
- 29 Crash
Layups
- 75 Standing layup
- 99 Driving layup
- 92 Spin layup
- 98 Hop step layup
- 97 Euro step layup
- 97 Floater
Jump shooting
- 99 Step through shot
- 30 Shot under basket
- 90 Shot close
- 4 Shot close left
- 4 Shot close middle
- 5 Shot close right
- 64 Shot mid
- 98 Spot up shot mid
- 40 Off screen shot mid
- 20 Shot 3pt
- 40 Spot up shot 3pt
- 45 Off screen shot 3pt
- 30 Contested jumper mid
- 17 Contested jumper 3pt
- 4 Stepback jumper mid
- 4 Stepback jumper 3pt
- 55 Spin jumper
- 5 Transition pull up 3pt
- 5 Drive pull up 3pt
- 11 Drive pull up mid
- 33 Use glass
Drive setup
- 69 Triple threat pump fake
- 93 Triple threat jab step
- 7 Triple threat idle
- 99 Triple threat shoot
- 96 Setup with sizeup
- 71 Setup with hesitation
- 2 No setup dribble
Driving
- 99 Drive
- 4 Spot up drive
- 4 Off screen drive
- 60 Drive right
- 63 Driving crossover
- 58 Driving spin
- 50 Driving step back
- 10 Driving half spin
- 30 Driving double crossover
- 45 Driving behind the back
- 35 Driving dribble hesitation
- 70 Driving in and out
- 90 No driving dribble move
- 88 Attack strong on drive
Freelance
- 99 Shoot
- 99 Touches
- 33 Roll vs. pop
- 5 Transition spot up
- 6 Iso vs. elite defender
- 5 Iso vs. good defender
- 10 Iso vs. average defender
- 4 Iso vs. poor defender
- 3 Play discipline
Post game
- 50 Post up
- 60 Post shimmy shot
- 60 Post face up
- 60 Post back down
- 50 Post aggressive backdown
- 99 Shoot from post
- 50 Post hook left
- 50 Post hook right
- 50 Post fade left
- 50 Post fade right
- 43 Post up and under
- 25 Post hop shot
- 25 Post step back shot
- 50 Post drive
- 50 Post spin
- 20 Post drop step
- 23 Post hop step
Passing
- 70 Dish to open man
- 36 Flashy pass
- 27 Alley oop pass
Defense
- 98 Pass interception
- 6 Take charge
- 98 On-ball steal
- 40 Contest shot
- 40 Block shot
- 45 Foul
- 17 Hard foul
Legit Review
32, written by HeightZ
Buy if possible
3, written by X1ockwise
Best card in the game but...
0, written by GoodGame69
The G.O.A.T
0, written by anthonytheog
MJ is the goat
0, written by g_roll_tide
Good
-1, written by labiscool123
damn it
-2, written by AlexIsAGoodBoi
oath
-2, written by jmurphy_051
Awesome Card!
-2, written by Koolguy
LEBRONS BETTER
-3, written by K1NGMATTHEW
GOAT: Unbias review
-3, written by maynard6499
oath
-5, written by jmurphy_051
Write a review...
Share your opinion of Michael Jordan
Comments Sort by
46
26
is this the guy who thinks he's better than Lavar???
22
"Michael Jordan" - Huh? That's not how you spell Cedi Osman
6
“Cecil Osman” - Huh? That’s not how you spell Ante Zizic
Show 32 replies...5
"Ante Zizic"- Huh? That's not how you spell Shabazz Napier
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YOU FORGOT THE SPACE BETWEEN “AND-
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?
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“Ante Zizic"- Huh? That's not how you spell Shabazz Napier
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“Ante Zizic" - Huh? That's not how you spell Shabazz Napier
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oof
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0of
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"anyone else" - huh? That's not how you spell Matthew Dellavedova
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“Matthew Dellavedova” - Huh? That’s not how you spell Jake Layman
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"Jake Layman" - Huh? That's not how you spell Daniel Ochefu
2
“Daniel Ochefu” - Huh? That’s not how you spell Jordan Bell
2
"Jordan Bell" - Huh? That's not how you spell Kyle Wiltjer
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“Kyle Wiltjer” - Huh? That’s not how you spell Frank Jackson
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“Frank Jackson” - Huh? That’s not how you spell Diamond Stone
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"Diamond Stone" - Huh? That's not how you spell Bruno Caboclo
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"Bruno Caboclo" - Huh? That's not how you spell Johnny O'Bryant III
2
"Johnny O'Bryant III" - Huh? That's not how you spell Tyler Ennis.
2
"Tyler Ennis" - Huh? That's not how you spell Roy Hibbert
btw you put a period at the end, you messed it up
2
"Roy Hibbert" Huh? - That's not how you spell Andre Ingram
Fight me bro
2
"Andre Ingram" - Huh? That's not how you spell #BeatUpJohnCena45
U mad bro?
1
"#BeatUpJohnCena45" - Huh? That's not how you spell wrestling is fake
1
“Wrestling is fake?” - Huh? That’s not how you spell Ron Artest
2
"Ron Artest" - Huh? That's not how you spell Metta World Peace
0
“Meta World Peace” - Huh? That’s not how you spell Lonzo Ball
0
"Lonzo Ball" - Huh? That's not how you spell Kwame Brown
0
“Kwame Brown” - Huh? That’s not how you spell James Lang
0
"James Lang" - Huh? That's not how you spell Fresh Prince of Bel Air
0
“Fresh Prince of Bel Air” - Huh? That’s not how you spell Trooper Washington
0
“Fresh Prince of Bel Air" - Huh? That's not how you spell Uwe Blab
0
"Uwe Blab"- Huh? That's not how you spell Cheick Diallo
0
"Cheick Diallo"- Huh? Thats not how to spell Sim Bhullar
0
"Sim Bhullar"- Huh? That's not how you spell Ricky Ledo
1
"Ricky Ledo"- Huh? That's not how you spell Ding Yanyuhang
0
"Ding Yanyuhang" - Huh? That's not how you spell Anthony Bennett.
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[Deleted]
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"Anthony Bennett" - Huh? That's not how you spell Frank Ntilikina
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"Frank Ntilikina" - Huh? That's not how you spell Michael Carter Williams.
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12
Am I the only one who is sick and tired of people complaining about 3 point ratings on cards. If this card didn’t have a good 3 ball it wouldn’t be valuable especially considering that’s all people fucking do in this game
5
Finally a good black cat
1
4
Just gonna add that no Lebron card could top this one IMO
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Best players of all time
1. Waiters Island
2. DeWait
3. Dion Waiters
4. JR Smith
5. The White Mamba
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“Here comes Chicago, 17 seconds...17 seconds, from game 7, or from championship number 6, Jordan...OPEN...CHICAGO WITH THE LEAD!”
1
1
Whats the ruby card for?
1
1
I was only waiting a few years. It’s about time I check back into 2K and a Michael jordan card is out
1
is this the guy that sucks at basketball and has a 1-9 record without scobbie pupper?
1
I don't think that is how you spell Brian Scalabrine.
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0
why are people still complaining about the 3 ball?! We should be use to this by now! they gave amy Al Horford a 96 open shot three for crying out loud...
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This card is the best card in the game by far gold limitless and has insane stats.
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Might be the best card in the game right now
2
it's not might, it is
Show 5 replies...0
I know, I'm a dumbass for that
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You always a dumbass
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Late and also, where the fuck have you been
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80 strength? That is so overrated. Please stop fuc*ing me 2k.
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They made a fucking historic pack without putting historic players in it, these people are idiots. They put moments cards instead.
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Wow another MJ card, ommmygaaaawdsuchsuprisethesuspensekillsmeifronniedontfirst
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Michael?
What are you doing? lt's after 12.
Couldn't sleep, Pops.
Neither can we,
with the noise you're making.
Let's go inside.
Just one more shot?
All right.
Just one.
Good. Shoot it again.
Getting pretty good. Shoot till you miss.
You think if l can get good enough,
l can go to college?
lf you get good enough,
you can do anything you want.
l want to play at North Carolina.
That's a real fine school.
You can get a good education.
l want to play on a championship team.
Then l want to play in the NBA.
All right, let's slow down, son.
Shouldn't you get some sleep first?
Once l've done all that...
...l want to play baseball, like you.
Baseball. Yeah, now, that's a sport.
When you've done that...
...l suppose you're going to fly?
At this time...
...l've reached the pinnacle of my
basketball career and must retire.
The one good thing is that my
father had the opportunity...
...to see me play my last game.
That means a lot.
What'll you do now?
l've never really told anybody this,
except for one person.
l'm going to play professional baseball.
What are you going to play?
l don't know. As a kid, l was a pitcher.
l think outfield,
because it'll be hard for me to pitch.
Let's get out of here. This stinks.
Don't bring me again.
Don't bring me again.
Are you listening?
Did you hear him? Did you hear him?
That little brat is right.
l told you, if l've told you once...
...l told you a thousand, thousand,
thousand, thousand times!
We need new attractions!
New ones!
Get it?
Big, shiny new things.
Absolutely, sir.
Look at me and listen:
The customer is always right!
Right!
The customer is always right!
Exactly!
Always!
Right!
Okay, we need something.
We need something...
...nutty!
Something wacky.
Wacky!
We need something, something....
Looney? Oops!
Looney. Thank you!
Looney?
Yes! Looney!
Now you're talking!
Looney! Looney! That's it!
That's the word l was looking for!
Get the Looney Tunes.
Bring them here.
Sir, just noticing...
...they're from Earth.
What if they can't come?
What did you say?
What if they can't come?
Make them.
Cool.
Make them!
We're gonna get them!
Strike!
Looks good in that uniform.
Looks great. Can't teach that.
Can't teach it.
Thanks for autographing
that basketball for my kid.
l'm happy to do it.
Let's go!
Curve ball. Don't swing.
Don't...swing.
Ball!
Fastball, outside corner. Swing.
Strike!
That was your pitch.
l know, l missed it.
l'll get you another one.
Podolak!
Come here.
-l'm sorry, l didn't mean to--
-Come here!
Make sure that nobody bothers Michael.
l want him to be the happiest player.
Slider. Don't swing.
Strike three!
l told you not to!
l couldn't help it.
l know. Nice talking to you!
We're not worried.
Good cut.
That was a good-looking strikeout.
You look good when you strike out.
When l do, it looks nasty.
At least you look good. Good-looking.
Hi, Mr. Jordan.
l'm Stan Podolak.
Oh, jeez.
You okay?
That was a nasty fall.
l'm Stan Podolak, Mr. Jordan,
the Baron's new publicist.
l'm here to make your life easier.
Can l drive you somewhere?
You want me to pick up your laundry,
baby-sit your kids?
l am here to personally guarantee...
...that no one will ever bother you.
What was that?
Hang on!
-Hanging on!
-Hanging on!
Are we there yet?
-Bombastic!
-Cool.
You irascible bunny!
Come back here, you screwy rodent!
l'll be with you in a second, folks,
after l finish with nature boy here.
All right, you pesky rabbit.
l've got you now!
One small step for moi....
One giant leap for Moron Mountain!
And one whopper headache for Elmer Fudd.
Diminutive, ain't they?
We seek the one they call Bugs Bunny.
-Have you seen him?
-Where is he?
ls he around?
Bugs Bunny, Bugs Bunny.
Say, does he have great big long ears?
Like this?
Does he hop around...
...like this?
Does he say, ''What's up, doc?'' like this:
What's up, doc?
Nope! Never heard of him.
You know,
maybe there is no intelligent life...
...out in the universe after all.
Hold on there, Mr. Looney Tune.
What do you think we are? Stupid?
Don't move a muscle.
Okay, bunny, gather up your Tune pals.
-We're taking you for a ride.
-Move it.
Totally. All right.
So, like, where are we going?
Are we there yet?
-Sorry it took so long.
-Don't worry about it.
That exit on 65 wasn't clearly marked.
-Hold up, right here.
-Here?
Thanks, Sherm.
-Appreciate it.
-lt's Stan, Mike.
You can call me Sherm if you want.
l follow your career and l think you're
the greatest athlete that's ever lived.
How do l get out?
The door doesn't work.
lt's a classic.
lt's a classic, but it's got
a few peccadillos. Hold on.
A few?
lt's smoking too.
Thanks for the ride.
This is nice. This is a nice house.
Beautiful. What is that, Colonial?
lt's a nice house.
lf you need help with the house....
l'm fine, thanks.
You gave me a ride. Thanks.
l'll drive tomorrow, so l don't need a ride.
But thanks, though.
Too conspicuous?
Yeah.
Thanks, though.
-Tomorrow!
-See you tomorrow.
Come on! No, not today!
Get off me! Your breath!
Mr. Jordan, are you okay?
Get off of him, Charles!
Bad dog! Git!
Pooch, stop it!
Get off of him before l cook you!
Come on, come on, baby.
Get out!
Good game.
Hey, Jeff, you okay?
-How was your game?
-l don't want to talk about it.
How are you?
You're covered with drool!
That's your dog.
What's wrong with Jeff?
He lost 32 points in his average.
ls that all?
So that puts him at .685 or something.
He's batting what?
Smells good in here. What you cooking?
Chicken.
Chicken and what?
Collard greens.
Good. l need a good meal tonight.
ls everything okay?
l stunk up the place.
Hope baseball was a good idea.
It was another career
day for Michael Jordan.
What're you watching?
He had 3 strikeouts.
ls this the only thing on TV?
What's up with this?
His batting average is .214,
which is his weight.
Get this guy a tennis racquet!
Did everyone get mad at you?
No. Worse.
They were nice about it.
I know golf is your sport.
But not here.
You should open your stance.
lt might make you more aggressive.
You think so? l'll remember that.
Watching this hurt me more than you.
Why are you watching this stuff?
lt's bad for you.
There.
Road Runner.
Stop this cartoon!
We've got an emergency Cartoon
Character Union Meeting to go to.
Hey, wait for me! Hold your horses!
Where'd they go?
Stop the music!
Top duck coming through!
Jeez! lt's getting so a guy can't
even get himself wet around here!
What's the big emergency?
These little guys would like to
make an announcement. Here.
You...
...all of you...
...are now our prisoners!
Oh, we're in big trouble now.
We are taking you to our
theme park in outer space.
No fooling.
You'll be our slaves.
And placed on display for the
amusement of our customers.
Oh, fear clutches my breast.
We ain't a-going...
...nowheres!
Not so fast, doc.
You just can't turn us into slaves.
That would be bad.
You must let us defend ourselves.
Oh, yeah? Who says?
Just a sec.
Read.
What's this?
''Give them a chance
to defend themselves.''
Do we have to?
lt's a rule.
Okay. lt is in the rule book.
Una momento!
We must confer.
All right, troops. lt is for us to
choose a battlefield that affords us--
l got it.
Yes, Private Porkster?
How about we challenge them to a...
...spelling bee?
Say...
...we could have a bowling tournament.
Suffering succotash!
What's wrong with you?
Let's get a ladder...
...wait till the old lady's gone...
...and grab that little bird!
Whoa! Take a deep breath, Sly!
Okay, let's analyze the competition.
Now what are we looking at here?
We got a small race of invading aliens....
Small arms! Short legs!
Not very fast.
Tiny little guys.
Can't jump high.
We challenge you to a basketball game.
Basketball it is!
Basketball!
What is basketball?
-What's that?
-Beats me.
We didn't have that in school.
Lights!
Pardon me! Sorry.
Down in front!
An exhilarating team sport currently
growing rapidly in popularity...
...is basketball.
Unlike football and baseball,
only 5 men can play on a team.
It's a fast-paced, razzle-dazzle
game that requires quick wits...
...and even faster reflexes.
Here's how it's done professionally.
The National Basketball Association...
...featuring the best players in the world.
The best players in the world!
The best!
Excuse me. Oh, so sorry.
Excuse me.
Get off my nose!
Quiet, they're looking!
lt's basketball!
Where?
Whoa! Now what?
-She's looking.
-Close it up.
Tightly.
You poked me again.
Sweetheart?
l thought you'd get better seats.
-This is the best l could get.
-This guy's doing something weird.
Just let me watch the game.
Barkley is killing us.
Someone's killing someone!
No. Seriously?
A killer!
Let me see!
There! That's the killer!
He's big.
He's good.
He's mine!
Go get him!
Come on! Get back on defense!
Let's go! Get back on d!
What are you doing?
Time out! Call time out!
What's wrong with you?
Let him in.
Open up!
Open!
He did it.
l got it! l got his talent!
Super.
-Sit down, Chuck.
-Man, l'm fine! l am fine!
l played you too much.
-l'm not tired!
-Get the doctor.
You all right?
You sure?
Come on, we're okay.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, Patrick. Showtime!
What's wrong with him?
In a shocking development, 5 NBA
players were put on the disabled list...
...in the last 24 hours, all suffering
from the same mysterious ailment...
...that affects the player's coordination.
l'll be home in a few days.
Put your mom on.
How you doing?
Watching TV?
What's going on?
-You gonna be all right?
-I'm ready, Coach.
Looks like l retired just in time.
l must go.
l'll call you later. Love you, bye.
lt's open!
lt's game time!
Lace up your Nikes.
Grab your Gatorade and we'll
get a Big Mac on the way.
Now we go to the Los Angeles Forum...
...where the Lakers are
refusing to take the court.
Get dressed.
We got a game in 5 minutes!
We're talking a huge fine.
We can't go in the locker room.
You heard what happened to
Barkley and Ewing. There's germs.
Cedric, that was in New York,
Bacteria travels faster
than the speed of light.
Like ''lnvasion of the Body Snatchers.''
All right.
Dress in the hallway.
Okay, okay, which one of you
maroons has ever played basketball?
l have, Coach.
And there's an important question
l must ask you.
What do you think?
l'm partial to purple and gold.
lt's better with my coloring.
Nice outfit, Daffy.
The little aliens say it's
their turn to use the court.
Sure, let the little pipsqueaks
knock themselves out.
Too bad you can't practice
getting taller, boys.
Hey, little pig!
l wet myself.
Time to play a little basketball.
These little pipsqueaks just
turned into superstars!
They're monsters!
Suffering succotash!
They're ''monstars''!
Bye-bye.
l think we might need some help.
Okay, little fella. You my friend?
Or my enemy?
You are my friend. You are my ally.
You are my associate,
my personal assistant.
You are my weapon. You are leaving.
-Great shot.
-Nice shot.
You can stop posing now.
Good try.
Not bad.
-Something for you to shoot at.
-Hit it good.
Do my best.
Good shot.
l know.
l must ask you something.
The NBA must face reality.
What's happening is serious.
They're going to need
new players with talent.
Skilled guys who never really
thought about a professional career.
Think l got a shot?
Come on, really?
Don't kid.
lt's a man's game.
-You can't play.
-What if l tried hard?
Keep it down.
lt's because l'm white.
No. Larry's white. So what?
Larry's not white. Larry's clear.
Get inside his ball!
You clowns can't beat that.
-My best shot ever.
-You haven't played long.
A Hall-of-Fame shot.
-Nice shot, Mr. Bird.
-Larry, please.
Nice shot, Mr. Larry.
Nice shot.
You can do this.
Don't be nervous, you can do this.
You feel the NBA has to face reality,
don't you?
Look for some players where
they never looked before.
Just look at the ball.
Visualize where you want it to go.
Be the ball.
Get off the tee.
Can't jump.
Go on.
Close to the pin?
For dinner?
-Sounds good.
-l'll go close to the pin.
l'll have some.
Not bad.
Good shot.
Get down.
Look at that spin.
Come on!
lt is alive!
My first hole in one.
Never seen one of these.
Nothing but the bottom of the cup.
-That's his ball too.
-Yeah, it's my ball.
Wait, let me get a picture!
You must smile.
Reach in for the ball and then smile, okay?
ls this good?
Just take the picture!
What kind of camera is that?
Don't point it at me.
-l didn't do anything!
-Where'd he go?
Look out for that first step,
doc, it's a real lulu.
Bugs Bunny?
You expected the Easter Bunny?
You're not real.
Not real? lf l weren't real, could l do this?
ls that Michael?
lt's Michael!
lt's Air Jordan.
Basketball!
l thought l saw....
l did. l did see Michael Jordan.
Pardon me, Mr. Jordan.
Can l have your auto--
Your John Hancock, please?
Let the doctor take a look.
A little high.
Going down!
So, what do you say we go for a little spin?
Let's see what we got inside here.
Say, ''Ahh.''
All right. He's okay!
What's going on here?
l thought you'd never ask.
These aliens from outer space want to
make us slaves in their theme park.
They're little. So we challenged
them to a basketball game.
Then, they ain't so little!
They're huge! We need to beat these guys.
They're talking about slavery!
They'll make us do stand-up,
the same jokes every night!
We'll be locked up like wild animals,
trotted out to perform...
...for a bunch of bug-eyed, fat-headed,
humor-challenged aliens!
What l'm trying to say is...
...we need your help!
l'm a baseball player now.
Right. And l'm a Shakespearean actor.
Mike?
Michael? lt's Stan.
Stan Podolak.
l need you to come out now, okay?
You got a baseball game tomorrow.
And I'd look pretty stupid
ifyou don't show up.
Think he's all right? l hate to leave him.
He's fine. l think he just had to
get away from that Stan character.
He's pathetic, isn't he?
l'll give us both twos. We weren't in
any kind of emotional state to putt.
l think that's fair.
lf Mike is gone, the NBA is
going to need some new people.
There's room at the top.
An exciting guy
who could even perform at half-time.
You know David Stern?
A phone call from you....
l want to help...
...but l haven't played in a long time.
My timing's off.
We'll fix it.
Look at our facility.
We got hoops.
We got weights.
We've got balls.
You sure do. This place is a mess.
You're worried about a mess?
There's nothing here a little
spit shine wouldn't fix.
Spit shine!
Lemony-fresh.
You guys are nuts.
Correction: We're Looney Tunes.
And as such are the exclusive property
and trademark of Warner Bros. lnc.
l'm here!
Me too!
That hurt.
Who are they?
Remember the tiny aliens l told you about?
You've heard of the Dream Team?
We're the Mean Team, wussieman!
Wussieman.
We're the Monstars.
M-o-n-....
Let's see what you got...
...chump!
l don't play basketball anymore.
''l don't play basketball anymore.''
Maybe you're chicken.
l say, l resemble that remark.
You calling me chicken?
Come here.
Here you go. Take him!
Watch the footwork.
Can you believe it?
Get out of the way!
Everybody.
Look at your hero now.
You guys are making a mistake.
You're all washed up, baldy!
Baldy?
He is not washed up!
-Michael's the greatest!
-Shut up!
My poor little cranium.
You okay?
Yeah, are you okay?
Whoops!
You're not scared of them...
...are you?
Let's play some basketball.
You're...!
You're Charles Barkley.
Girls! Come on over! Hurry up! Hurry!
Look! lt's Charles Barkley!
Can l play?
You're not Charles Barkley.
Just a wanna-be who looks like him.
Sorry.
Break out.
You shouldn't even be here! Be gone!
Wanna-be! Be gone!
Just a few more tests.
Electrolyte levels,
glucose, CBCs, RBCs, etc.
And we've scheduled a stress test...
...and neurological battery
to include EEG and....
And this girl...
...five feet nothing, blocked my shot.
When did you first have this dream?
lt wasn't a dream! lt really happened!
lt climbed up my back...
...and into my brain.
Are there other areas...
...besides basketball...
...where you find yourself...
...unable to perform?
No!
Just asking.
l've been MRl'd, EKG'd,
x-rayed, laser beamed....
l'll never swear again.
l'll never get another technical.
l'll never trash-talk.
l've got other skills.
l could go work on the farm.
Really?
Or maybe l could go back to
the jungle and be a missionary.
What are you saying?
That l'm trying to disobey my mama?
You said that, not me.
l love her.
Still can't find anything wrong!
Maybe nothing's wrong!
Maybe it's just in our head.
We're fine. lt's psychosomatic.
Or has to do with the moon.
l'll never date Madonna again.
What are you doing?
l'm fixing a divot.
He's fixing a divot!
Has anyone here ever played basketball?
l have.
l'd like to try out.
Hi. My name is Lola Bunny.
Lola?
Hello!
My name's Bugs.
You want to play one-on-one, doll?
''Doll''?
On the court, Bugs.
She's hot!
Ready?
l got it! l got it!
That girl's got some skills.
Don't ever call me...
...''doll.''
Check!
Nice playing with you.
Very smooth.
She's obviously nuts about me.
Obviously.
Mais oui.
Where's the ball?
Let's do some drills.
Can anyone lend me some sneakers?
Sneakers?
Sorry.
Someone must get my gear
from my house.
Your house?
ln 3-D land?
Whatever you do...
...remember my North Carolina shorts.
Your shorts? From college?
l wore them under my Chicago Bulls
uniform every game.
l washed them after every game!
l did!
The view back here stinks.
We're in front of his house.
l knew that!
Let's go in this way.
l say, let's go in that way!
He just never learns!
Let me see.
l must be very, very...
...close.
Mother!
Nice digs.
Well, well. l wonder who that could be.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
Everyone's sleeping!
l knew that.
Come on, we must find
Michael's basketball stuff.
Nope. Nothing in here.
Nope.
But a very nice dinette set.
Not here.
Let's look upstairs.
Yes, Oh, Fearless Leader.
So, he needs his special underwear.
Sorry.
You think she's got enough toys?
Speaking of toys,
you know all those mugs and...
...lunch boxes with our pictures on them?
You ever see any money from it?
-Not a cent.
-Me neither.
lt's a shame.
We need a new agent.
We're getting screwed.
We've found the trophy room.
Spread out and search the place.
Yes, sahib.
Oh, brother.
Here l am, in the peak of my form...
...playing second banana to
some sort of harebrain....
This could be useful.
lf this were a union job....
That's very nice.
-l could use this.
-One of his shoes.
Where is the other shoe?
Where are you?
Eureka!
Come to Papa.
What a fuzz-foot. You are so clumsy.
Catch.
Thanks.
Time to go.
Did we get everything?
The shorts!
ln there?
Okay, l'll check.
l found the shorts.
The pain!
l'm right behind you.
That's not reassuring.
Nice puppy.
Want a bone?
No dice.
How about a nice ham?
Can't we talk this over?
Down, Beethoven.
The kids are here.
Give it.
Here.
Thanks, kid.
Bad dog!
That is the last time l'm ever
working with dogs or children.
Where you going?
You see, the Looney Tunes have a
big basketball game coming up and...
-...your dad's playing.
-All right!
Yeah! But don't tell anybody!
l see aliens.
Little aliens from outer space.
They forced their way inside your bodies.
They need your talent to win a...
...basketball game against...
...Bugs Bunny.
l also see Michael Jordan...
...being sucked down a golf hole...
...by furry creatures.
That's it. We're going.
We're leaving.
Let's try acupuncture.
Good idea.
This is it! This is it!
l don't know where you are...
...but you obviously enjoy being
there more than being with me!
You better hope this Jordan
character still can play.
You and me both, brother.
Listen, how is this for a new team name:
The Ducks.
Please!
What kind of Mickey Mouse
organization would name a team that?
So sue me. lt's just a suggestion.
You're doing it!
You're becoming mighty!
Go!
No pain, no gain.
Guys?
Look who's finally ready to play!
Let's see if l remember how.
ls it really you?
Thank God you're all right!
l was so worried!
Come on, Stan. Don't hug me, please.
Sorry.
-Why are you here?
-l must take you back for practice.
l can't. l'm helping my friends
in their basketball game.
Your friends are cartoon characters.
Yeah. So?
lt doesn't bother me.
Let me help? Let me help! l can help!
What can you do?
l may not be tall, but...
...l'm slow.
And large.
And a dork!
l'll do anything! Anything!
Anything?
Anything.
Come here. Come here for a second.
Sit right here.
No problem.
All right! All right, let's go, team!
lf someone gets injured,
we could see a lot of minutes.
l'm a cheerleader.
Mr. Commissioner, the place is sealed off.
Quiet!
Listen. After meeting with team owners...
...l decided that until we can guarantee...
...the health of our players...
...there will be no more
basketball this season.
Just get out of my way.
Ready?
Let's go!
Are these the best seats?
Like them!
Can see everything from here! Very good!
Ready to go?
Yeah, sure.
Riot!
Ladies and gentlemen...
...the starting lineup for...
...the Tune Squad!
Standing 2 foot 4...
...The Wonder From Down Under...
...the Tazmanian Devil!
At small forward...
...standing a scintillating 3 foot 2...
...The Heartthrob of the Hoops...
...Lola Bunny!
At power forward...
...The Quackster of the Courts: Daffy Duck!
Thank you! Thank you!
Very funny.
Let's all laugh at the duck.
And at point guard...
...standing 3 foot 3,
...co-captain of the Tune Squad...
...The Doctor of Delight:
Bugs Bunny!
Thank you! Thank you!
And now...
...the player-coach of the Tune Squad...
...at 6 foot 6, from North Carolina...
...His Royal Airness:
Michael Jordan!
Who?
ls he a Looney Tune?
Perhaps.
Ready?
l'll take it to the rack.
They'll wish they never were born!
Guys, let's just go out and have fun.
The challengers for the Ultimate Game...
...all the way from Moron Mountain:
The Monstars!
Go Monstars! Go Monstars!
Go Monstars!
What are you looking at?
Cool shoes.
Ready?
l got it! l got the ball!
Way to go!
Did you see the moves on that one?
Come on. Show me something!
The duck!
Oh, my!
She was wide open.
Watch the screen!
Watch out!
Get him!
How did he do that?
Nice shot, Mr. J.
Let's play defense.
Way to go!
Air J!
Red light!
Feed me!
Feed you?
Feed me!
-Bad old putty tat!
-l'll take that.
Don't try this at home!
''l wish l was in the land of--''
Going somewhere?
May l remind you, sir...
...that physical violence is
patently against the rules!
Did you order Original Recipe
or Extra Crispy?
Let's go.
Me?
l'm ready. l can do this.
You picked the mouse?
l love basketball. l always have. Do you?
l bet you're good.
l'm small, but l try hard to be good.
l always try hard.
My mom says, ''Try your best--''
Try to get by me, doll.
''Doll''?
Don't ever call me...
...''doll.''
Nice shot.
There's the defense boy. l got you.
Pie? Pork chop?
Sorbet, perhaps?
Half-time.
Holy Putty Tat!
We're better than them.
We got them.
Moron Mountain, here we come.
We're going to be slaves.
There's a whole other half to play.
lt's the boss.
Hello, Mr. Swackhammer!
All right.
Not bad for the first half.
But we must keep this up.
No problem.
We stole talent from the NBA players!
From the NBA!
Shut up!
l smell something.
We've been playing hard.
Not you, you idiot!
lt's coming from over here.
That locker.
Look!
lt's the chubby boy!
lt smells like a...
...spy!
You guys need a publicist?
l can make you big.
-l know we're down.
-Let's hear the story.
l've been here before.
We can still win this.
lt's not over. We must come together.
We must believe in ourselves.
That'll help us.
Looks like Stan had a close
encounter with a bug-zapper.
The Monstars!
The Monstars!
That must hurt.
The Monstars!
The Monstars...
...stole the talent from the NBA players.
So that's what happened to them.
l think we should qui-- qui-- forfeit.
Listen, l didn't get dragged down
here to lose to ugly Monstars.
l ain't going out like that.
We're letting them push us!
We must fight back!
We must get right in their faces!
Well?
Are you with me or not?
Finished? Great speech and all.
You had them riveted.
But didn't you forget something?
Your secret stuff!
Nice deltoids!
Play along.
Stop hogging it.
We're teammates!
Secret stuff?
Secret stuff? You wouldn't
hold out on us, would you?
No.
l didn't think you needed it.
You're so tough. You're competitive.
We're also chicken. We need it bad.
-l'd like some of that.
-Could l have a sip, please?
This goes against everything
l learned in health class.
Do you want to win?
Bottoms up.
Yummy.
How about we go out
and kick some alien butt?
How about it? Ready?
Open!
Coming through!
Special delivery!
Nice kaboom.
Let's teach them a lesson.
Nice butt!
Going up!
Slammy!
Hello! A little surprise for you, my friends.
This will be good.
Okay, birdie!
Time out!
Shut up, get away from me. Powwow!
We're right back in this game.
Let's play tough defense.
Why didn't you get him?
He's a baseball player.
A baseball player.
Looks like a basketball player to me.
Me too.
He's the one l want for Moron Mountain.
Are you talking to me?
Yeah, l am. You want a piece of me?
Come and get it!
What do you have in mind?
What about we raise the stakes?
lnteresting.
lf we win, you give the NBA
players their talent back.
But what if we win?
lf you win?
You get me.
Good deal.
Doc, you think that's a good idea?
You'll be our star attraction.
You'll sign autographs all day long.
And play one-on-one with
the paying customers.
And lose.
Do we have a deal?
Deal.
l don't think you should do this.
l have faith in my team.
Crush them!
Defeating time, boys.
Good-bye!
Fore!
But, Mommy,
l don't want to go to school today.
l want to stay home
and bake cookies with you.
l'm open!
Heads up!
Belly flop!
Oh, my!
ls this your man?
You okay?
Me? Oh, yeah. l'm fine.
Are you okay?
Thank you.
lt was nothing.
That was the nicest thing
anyone's ever done for me.
Time out.
l could have been a contender!
The Monstars! The Monstars!
l could have had a V-8!
We need a fifth player.
You got any more secret stuff?
l think it's starting to wear off.
lt didn't wear off. lt was water.
You guys had the ''special stuff''
inside you all along.
Yeah, l knew that. But you got any more?
Can l have some?
-Stan?
-Me?
You're center.
Just guard the big guy.
Guard him? l'll smother him!
l'll be all over him like a cheap suit!
l'll be on him like stink on rice!
He's going down!
Over here!
Over here!
l'm open!
Nice shot!
Big man, ain't he?
Let's get him out of here!
Oh, my!
How'd he do that?
Anyone can do that.
Even you.
Watch this.
No sweat. This is Looney Tune Land.
Thanks for telling me, doc.
l hate to be the bearer of bad news,
Your Airness...
...but if you don't find a fifth player,
your team will forfeit the game.
Forfeit?
Precisely, Sir Altitude.
No way. We'll find someone.
l didn't know Dan Ackroyd
was in this picture!
Perhaps l could be of some assistance?
That's our fifth guy.
Now you get to live your dream. Let's go.
-We need to score 2 points.
-Here's how l see it.
You kick it to the girl
bunny down in the post.
You dish it to Bugs.
You swing it to Mike. You go to the hole.
-And dominate!
-We're on defense!
l don't play defense.
Typical.
You must listen to Mike on this.
Someone steal the ball,
get it to me and l'll score.
Don't lose that confidence!
Paws and wings in here! Okay!
This is why l was born.
l thrive on pressure.
Excuse me, sorry.
Easy on the trousers, Daf.
Pardon me. Mr. Murray,
something's really been bugging me.
Just how did you get here?
Producer's a friend of mine.
Had a teamster drop me off.
That's how it goes.
You see this chunky fellow?
That's good!
Let's do it!
Play fair.
Don't choke now. Come on.
lt's gut-check time!
This must be mine.
l'm going this way! l'm going left!
Never trust an Earthling!
Get the girl!
Come on!
l'm open!
-That's mine!
-Not today!
Bring it on, dude.
You're mine!
l'm open!
Never mind.
The Tunes win!
Nice pass.
Great stretch at the basket too.
You really got some skills.
You could play in the NBA.
Thanks, Mike.
l'll probably quote you on that.
But l'm going to take this opportunity
to retire from the game.
Come on.
No,
l'm going to retire right now and that's it.
l'm going to go out undefeated.
That's how it will be.
-You go celebrate.
-Come with us.
l'd like to, but l have to ice down my
knees now. They're starting to go.
Good-bye.
See you.
You sure?
Yes. Definitely sure. Definitely.
-Losers!
-Sorry.
-Choke artists!
-Sorry again.
Wait till l get you back
on Moron Mountain.
The party's over! Get in the spaceship.
Why do you take that?
Because he's bigger.
He's bigger?
Than we used...
...to be.
What're you doing?
-Wait! What are you doing? Wait!
-Come here.
Had it in you all the time.
One thing. Pass me the ball, Bugs.
Give my friends their talent back.
Do we have to?
lt's part of the deal. Touch the ball.
Fair is fair.
Touch it.
That was so much fun.
l feel so...
...insignificant.
My clothes don't fit.
What a trip!
l'm up for another!
Can we ask you a favor, Mr. Bunny?
We don't want to go back.
-We hate it there.
-lt stinks.
l was thinking, could we stay here?
Please!
Oh, brother.
l don't know if you guys
are looney enough.
Looney enough?
Do you know what time it is?
Seven-fift-- Seven-fift--
Quarter past seven.
You have a baseball game in 5 minutes!
Okay. Take this.
ls it safe?
Yeah, put it in my bag.
Let's go.
l enjoyed playing with you.
You've got a lot of....
Whatever it is, you got a lot of it.
Got to go.
Stay out of trouble.
You know l will.
Come here!
The delay is killing us.
Where's Michael?
Where is Michael?
He's not back from his other game.
What game?
What other game?
Ladies and gentlemen...
...Michael Jordan!
Guys...
...we suck!
My grandmother plays better.
You guys are still tall.
l'm nothing now. Just a short guy.
You're right.
That's the only thing you got right.
-Who's that?
-Who is it?
l don't know.
You've been getting beaten.
lt's Mike.
-What's up?
-Why're you here?
Don't be embarrassed.
Just face it.
You stink.
Lighten up.
l know.
You want your games back.
What games you had.
lt's hard enough as it is.
Give us a break.
l'm going to regret this.
Give me the ball.
lt's like ''Star Trek.''
Touch it.
No way, Jose.
You want your talent back? Just touch it.
-l don't know.
-Don't touch it.
You'll walk around with a bad game
for the rest of your career. Touch it.
Careful, Pat.
We've tried everything else.
Come on.
Touch it.
The rest of you.
Just touch it.
-What was that?
-l liked that.
l caught it!
Look at Mugsey handle the rock!
l can handle it again!
That's the old Mugs l know.
Yeah, get height now!
lt gave me my powers back!
Let me show you something.
The Round-Mound is back!
Want to see something?
That felt good!
-l got it.
-You got it. Yeah, baby.
Stay.
Play some 3-on-3 with us?
l don't think so.
You going to work on your swing?
Leave the baseball player alone.
He doesn't play basketball now.
He probably doesn't have it anymore.
Do you hear them?
They don't think you can play the game.
There's one way to find out.
The Chicago Bulls is
proud to welcome back...
...Michael Jordan!
What's the matter?
Larry could have been me.
Will you get off that kick? lt's over.
lt's done with. You can't play.
Let's go, Bulls!
Well, that's all, folks!
That's my line.
Step aside, Babe. Let a star do this.
That's all--
That's all, folks!
Can l go home now?
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anyone wanna commit suicide together maybe 5 times around 50 clock. if not then its whatever so like ya know. You are getting sleepy watching this. Omg Im so dumb I meant reading thise. You aaare getting dig bick while reading this. So if you waan run your are reading things that dont even iexist. You are hallucinating right as you read this. You are scared of bears and others things that are big. You are crazy for being thy pee pee chonies. Shkespeare is not better than Beethoven. Ludwig Van Beethoven. SO thy pee pee chonies witll or thy shall never exist even f your want your its nt your its your, you shall die of thy begteth thee.
anyone wanna commit suicide together maybe 5 times around 50 clock. if not then its whatever so like ya know. You are getting sleepy watching this. Omg Im so dumb I meant reading thise. You aaare getting dig bick while reading this. So if you waan run your are reading things that dont even iexist. You are hallucinating right as you read this. You are scared of bears and others things that are big. You are crazy for being thy pee pee chonies. Shkespeare is not better than Beethoven. Ludwig Van Beethoven. SO thy pee pee chonies witll or thy shall never exist even f your want your its nt your its your, you shall die of thy begteth thee.
Wu tang Chonies
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Holy shit how long did that take you?
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My one and only remaining desire in 2K18 is to get this card and average 30 ppg with it in supermax. No matter what even a great defensive player tries to take away from this card, it is so well-rounded and has the best animations in the game so there is a counter for every situation. And if you double team me, I will just dish out the assists. GG.
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code: BULLS-6TPO9-23EMV-JKGT1-CHI45
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You fucker lmfao you got me
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lmao issa a joke bruh
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I didn't downvote
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idc about downvotes this a site who gives a damn
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lmfao me neither but I'm just saying I ain't salty about it, someone else was so they downed. Wasn't me.
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ok bro
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when you gonna make another QOTD btw
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its "Question of the Day" lol wouldn't u think it comes everyday? It posted one a few hours ago, you'll have to wait until tomorrow
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damnit
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can yall please give me some suggestions on my lineup?http://2kmtcentral.com/18/lineups/392469/updated-lineup#comment-1193166
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Are we not going to talk about his hall of game post spin?
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yeah, his post game is amazing, even in his wizards years.
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I was trippn i dont know why i said that
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If we are being honest here. Jordan has the highlights. LeBron has the talent and IQ. Jordan can play his ass off. LeBron can too. We can't compare greatness because then people will bring up everything then one will be put on a pedestal. I like LeBron. He is a helluva a player and so is Jordan. But there is no way in hell we can compare these two when they to me are equally the same. Just from different generations.
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According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
-2
anyone wanna commit suicide together maybe 5 times around 50 clock. if not then its whatever so like ya know. You are getting sleepy watching this. Omg Im so dumb I meant reading thise. You aaare getting dig bick while reading this. So if you waan run your are reading things that dont even iexist. You are hallucinating right as you read this. You are scared of bears and others things that are big. You are crazy for being thy pee pee chonies. Shkespeare is not better than Beethoven. Ludwig Van Beethoven. SO thy pee pee chonies witll or thy shall never exist even f your want your its nt your its your, you shall die of thy begteth thee.
anyone wanna commit suicide together maybe 5 times around 50 clock. if not then its whatever so like ya know. You are getting sleepy watching this. Omg Im so dumb I meant reading thise. You aaare getting dig bick while reading this. So if you waan run your are reading things that dont even iexist. You are hallucinating right as you read this. You are scared of bears and others things that are big. You are crazy for being thy pee pee chonies. Shkespeare is not better than Beethoven. Ludwig Van Beethoven. SO thy pee pee chonies witll or thy shall never exist even f your want your its nt your its your, you shall die of thy begteth thee.
Wu tang Chonies
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when your trying to deepthroat
4
leave
Show 6 replies...-3
don't be a gai boi.
0
ok now ur even more stupid then the last guy i replied to hating on gays and shit brah u have a name like seth i bet u look like seth rogan to with your fat ass
0
you have a name like louis. louis lane hahahah
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well you can just call me daddy its fine
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more like mrs. louis lane
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i love it when he ate some pussy from ur momma nd sudkc dick like a real white boy
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Please stop trolling me.
Show 5 replies...0
no
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You are really upsetting the community and I with your trolling nonsense.
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i am ur dad
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umm excuse me but the list is actually:
1. Rudy Gobert
2. Rudy Gobert
3. Rudy Gobert
4. Rudy Gobert
5. Rudy Gobert
6. Rudy Gobert
7. Rudy Gobert
8. Dwyane Wade
9. Joe Ingles
10. Bill Laimbeer
- Reply
Show 36 replies...how did you forget cedi osman dude
WHAT HOW DO YOU FORGET CEDI OSMAN
D Rose is better, even today lmao
um no
lol just messin around
[Deleted]
are you okay lol
pete: "you probs wank off to that card lmao"
???
sozz beb
I'm not sure I get the references lol
Oh, how naive i was
LMAO
New list is:
1. Derrick Favors
2. Derrick Favors
3. Derrick Favors
4. Derrick Favors
5. Derrick Favors
6. Derrick Favors
7. Derrick Favors
8. Dwyane Wade
9. Joe Ingles
10. Bill Laimbeer
Rudy Golbert 11?
no during this series rudy showed that he was a bum he like 4809752387420752984795824729672905878th
Better than MJ right?
no rudy WOAT
rUdY wOAt
Worst Of All Time
:ok:
First of all why is the first comment blank lol
Second of all why did you put colons around "ok" lol
t(‘-‘t)
y u mad lol
I’m not tho lol
aight bro whatever u say lol
XD
:P
uhhhh k
K
KK
KillerKoolKat
Savage
who r u
Kobe
yo dawg u trash lmao
[Deleted]
- Reply
Show 1 reply...Why the downvotes??
Casuals still think MJ goat
- Reply
Show 5 replies...True casuals say Brian Scalabrine GOAT
(TRUE) didn’t say true tho lol haven’t seen one of those in a while
:P
Watch out, we got a **WOKE** person here
Lmao how you thinking that?
97 Lebron is still better than 99 Jordan
- Reply
Show 3 replies...Have you checked the attributes and stats? Also, when you pull one in a pack, who are you more excited for? Pinky MJ, or a 97 Lebron James?
65 Daniel ochefu
i want that sindarius thornwell man
PD LeBron will come and he'll take his throne for good!
- Reply
Show 7 replies...Lebron is not even close to Jordan's throne so just stop
honestly talent wise LeBron
greatness wise Jordan
Exactly!
3 weeks later
Lebron ends up having the best card in 2k
Yes, cause Lebron is waaaay better.
there will probably be another pd mj with 99 everything
I wouldn't ve surprised..